Kindergarten
by trinchardin
Summary: What if the characters of the Matrix went to kindergarten together? [Concluding Chapter!]
1. Roll Call

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Note: I've seen similar stories in other fandoms. That, a love for irreverent humor, and a crazy HL thread led to this. Hope you guys like it. ~_^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.  
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 1 - Roll Call  
  
"Good morning, class."  
  
"Good morning, Teacher 'Racle," the class chorused.  
  
"Now, today's your first day at school. And I'm sure you're all excited to get started learning. But, first, let's get to know each other."  
  
The grandmother-ish figure's eyes twinkled as she smiled at her students.  
  
"Who would like to go first?"  
  
A hand shot up, eerily remeniscient of a Nazi salute.  
  
"Well then, what's your name?"  
  
The boy stood up and straightened his dark suit.  
  
"My name's Smith. John Smith."  
  
"Would you like to add anything else, John?"  
  
"Smith will suffice," he retorted sharply.  
  
"Very well." She smiled kindly.  
  
The woman looked over the class and pointed out the girl in white.  
  
"What's your name?"  
  
"My name's Perse," the girl dimpled charmingly.  
  
"That's a nice dress, Perse."  
  
"Thank you." Another dimple.  
  
"She looks like a marshmallow," a voice muttered.  
  
"She does not!" The boy next to the girl shouted.  
  
"No shouting, please," the teacher said, and turned to the boy. "What's your name?"  
  
"My name's Mero, and I can curse in French," he said smugly.  
  
"Uh...that's nice. But, we don't say bad words here." She turned to the other boy as Mero sulked. "We also don't call each other names, young man. What's your name?"  
  
"Locke. ...But, she does! And Niobe's prettier, too!"  
  
"Locke," the teacher warned. The boy fell silent. "I think you should apologize to Perse."  
  
"Sorry," he grumbled.  
  
"Now, why are you kicking Locke's desk, young man?"  
  
"He's trying to steal my girlfriend," the other dark-skinned boy said sullenly.  
  
The girl who sat on his other side just rolled her eyes.  
  
"That shouldn't be an excuse. Don't do it again, okay?"  
  
"Yes, ma'am."  
  
"And what's your name?"  
  
"Morpheus."   
  
Then, the boy grabbed the hand of the girl beside him.  
  
"And this is Niobe. She's faster than any girl here!"  
  
"Well, that's nice, Niobe."  
  
The dark-haired girl just smiled at the teacher.  
  
"What about you, young lady?"  
  
"My name's Trinity," was the prim response.  
  
"Trin kicks ass!" The Chinese boy next to her shouted.  
  
"What did I say about bad words?" The teacher asked.  
  
"Uh...don't say them?" The boy answered sheepishly.  
  
"Right. And your name is?"  
  
"Ghost." He smiled widely.  
  
"And what is your name?"   
  
The teacher turned to the shy-looking boy beside Trinity.  
  
"My name's Neo," he said softly.  
  
"Neo's a dork," a British accent flatly stated.  
  
"He is not," Trinity said, blue eyes flashing.  
  
"See, he even needs his girlfriend to defend him," a similar voice seconded.  
  
"Oh, shut up, albino boys," she said coolly.  
  
"Now, now, children! What did I say about calling each other names?"  
  
"Not to do it," they replied in chorus.  
  
"Good. Now, what are your names?" She asked the twins behind Mero.  
  
"One."  
  
"Two."  
  
They replied at the same time.  
  
"How original," Smith smirked.  
  
"Hey, Neo, your kid brother's at the door," Morpheus whispered.  
  
Neo flushed red and sunk low in his seat as the bald-headed boy in question waved wildly from the open door. A man dressed in white grabbed hold of his hand before he could enter the classroom. Keeping a tight grip on the boy, he caught the teacher's attention.  
  
"Seraph, what's the matter?"  
  
"The principal wants to see you," the junior teacher replied.  
  
"Oh, Archie again. Great," the old woman sighed. "Could you watch my class for a moment? Thanks. I'll take this boy to his mother on the way."   
  
Without waiting for a reply, the woman went off, little boy in tow. Left behind, the young teacher looked at the class. They just stared right back.  
  
"Uh...so, what have you learned today?" 


	2. A Case of the Cooties

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.  
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 2 - A Case of the Cooties  
  
"Uh...so, what have you learned today?" The junior teacher asked the class.  
  
"It's our first day of school," Smith answered, as if to say, 'you idiot'.  
  
"Oh. Is that so?" Seraph replied, to his credit, seemingly unflustered.  
  
Smith just stared at him.  
  
"Well, let's have a Share-and-Tell."  
  
The class looked at him, unamused.  
  
"I think you mean Show-and-Tell," Smith said flatly, not adding, 'moron'.  
  
"Ah, but you haven't been asked to bring anything today," Seraph said, calmly. His eyes shone mischievously. "So, we're just going to share our thoughts today. Who knows what..." He paused for emphasis. "...cooties are?"  
  
All the boys cringed in their seats as the girls giggled. Even Trinity managed a smirk.  
  
But, Morpheus looked nonplussed as he raised his hand.  
  
"Yes...?"  
  
"Morpheus."  
  
"Well, Morpheus?"  
  
"My older brother said you get them when a girl kisses you. Or hugs you." He wrinkled his nose in disgust.  
  
"So, you must have them," Smith said accusingly. He glared at Niobe. "Girls are a disease."  
  
"I do not! Niobe only holds my hand."  
  
"More like he holds hers," Locke muttered under his breath.  
  
"You're just jealous 'cause you don't have a girlfriend," Morpheus said smugly.  
  
Niobe rolled her eyes a second time.  
  
"Girls are not a disease," Neo said softly. "At least, Trinity isn't. She's nice."  
  
The boy turned a brilliant red as the girl in question gave him a pleased smile.  
  
Ghost just glowered.  
  
"Yes, they are," Smith persisted. "Girls are a plague - "  
  
"What would you know?" Perse cut in with an icy look. "None of them like you."  
  
Slightly deflated, the boy sniffed and cross his arms at his chest, pouting.  
  
"Don't worry, mon ami," Mero intereceded. "They'll come around."  
  
He smirked at Perse, who looked at him like she would a dead rat.  
  
"Girls are..."  
  
"Only trouble."  
  
The twins nodded firmly at the same time.  
  
"With your hair are you sure, -you- aren't girls?" Trinity asked coldly.  
  
Both flinched as they touched their hair.  
  
"Well, your boyfriend's still a dork," One said, trying to comfort Two.  
  
"He's not her boyfriend," Ghost protested.  
  
"I think Neo's sweet," said Perse, smiling brightly at the boy. Neo turned even redder.  
  
"Of course, he is. He's my friend," Trinity said, with emphasis on the possessive.  
  
"Do you want to come to my house later?" Perse asked Neo, pointedly ignoring Trinity.  
  
"Uh...I dunno if my mommy will let me," he said softly.  
  
"Besides, he's coming to -my- house already." Trinity smiled triumphantly at Perse.  
  
"What do you do there..."  
  
"Play with dolls, dork?"  
  
The twins snickered as Mero smirked.  
  
"You're going to get cooties," Smith warned.  
  
"Don't worry, Neo. I don't think it's that bad."  
  
Morpheus patted his friend's arm. Neo looked terrified.  
  
"What do you do..."  
  
"At a girl's house?"  
  
The twins asked, curiousity overcoming them.  
  
"We play race cars!" Morpheus shouted. "Vroom! Vroom! And Locke's always last."  
  
He stuck his tongue out at the other boy.  
  
"It's not like you win either," the dark-skinned boy said sullenly. "Niobe does."  
  
"I let her win 'cause I'm a gentlumun."  
  
"It's -gentleman-," Smith corrected snidely.  
  
"That's what I said." Morpheus smiled proudly.  
  
Niobe did not look pleased, exchanging knowing looks with Trinity.  
  
"We play cops n' hackers," Neo whispered.  
  
"What's a hacker?" Perse asked, interested.  
  
"It's people who...uh..." He flushed at the attention. "...they hack at computers."  
  
"With knives?" The twins cut in, eyes alit.  
  
"No, you simpletons," Smith said. "They look at a computer's insides and take stuff."  
  
"Oh." Losing interest, the two returned to gouging at their desks with their rulers.  
  
"When Trinity catches you, does she kiss you?" Mero smiled slyly at the flushed Neo.  
  
"She does not," Ghost objected hotly.  
  
"Well, I'm sure she will eventually, Neo," Seraph said, thinking to comfort the boy.  
  
"You're a cootie boy," Smith taunted.  
  
Neo had all but disappeared behind his desk.  
  
"Now, class! Let's start today's lesson," the teacher said, as she returned sans kid.  
  
Seraph smiled sunnily at her and went out the door. The woman watched him leave and then turned to her students.  
  
"What did he teach you?" 


	3. Recess Break

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks for all those lovely reviews, especially from my fellow Headliners. Love you guys. People, go check out the Construct: http://www.constructfic.org/. Join the Matrix Movement! ^_^ ...And midnite, thanks so much for the idea. It's up next. ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.  
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 3 - Recess Break  
  
"What did he teach you?" The teacher warily asked her class.  
  
The solemn teacher's assistant was known to play his share of pranks. The wicked gleam in his eye as he left was not very reassuring. She turned to one of her more stoic students.  
  
"Joh - " A glare. "Ah, Smith. What happened?"  
  
"Mr. Seraph taught us about plagues."  
  
"Oh...well, that's nice," she smiled, calmed.  
  
Clapping her hands, she called for attention.  
  
"Now, why don't we all wash our hands? It's time for recess."  
  
"Yeah!" The children cheered before stampeding out the door.  
  
When they returned, there was a rush to the cubby holes. There was a slight scuffle between Locke and Morpheus as to who'd get to carry Niobe's lunchbox. Fortunately, Neo pulled his friend away before it could get worse. And by then, Niobe had walked off with said lunchbox along with Trinity. The disgruntled pair of boys satisfied themselves with exchanging glares over bitefuls of sandwich. Before long, there was an ongoing contest of who could bite off more. Neo and Ghost watched with unconcealed interest, while the girls just ignored them.  
  
On the other side of the room, Mero poked at his quiche as he watched Perse out of the corner of his eye. She, on the other hand, didn't bother to conceal her fascination with Neo. Daintily nibbling at a carrot stick, she didn't even notice when Mero sidled up to her elbow. When he cleared his throat to get her attention, she raised an eyebrow at him.   
  
"I was wondering if I could offer you some chocolate cake," he said smoothly.  
  
He flashed her the killer smile he practiced every day in front of his mirror.  
  
"No thanks," she sniffed and turned back to Neo.  
  
Mero's face fell for a moment, then he returned to his desk. Coolly studying his oblivious rival, he began to plan a dastardly scheme. Today, the classroom. Tomorrow, Matrix Kindergarten. He rubbed his hands with unholy glee. The twerp wouldn't know what hit him.  
  
His seatmate just rolled his eyes. Not for the first time that day, Smith wondered why he was stuck with these lower life-forms. He belonged to first grade, not in baby kindergarten. With the mental sigh of a martyr, he went back to dubiously eyeing the sentient orange jello that had somehow found its way into his orderly sliced-sides-sandwich lunchbox.  
  
Unperturbed, the twins behind him were happily sword-fighting with the plastic spreaders of their cheese-and-cracker packs. When the duel seemed to be getting out-of-hand and the other two boys seemed about to choke, the teacher decided she should give the children something to calm them down.  
  
"Now, now, children. Who wants some cookies?"  
  
A forest of hands suddenly rose up. With an indulgent smile, the teacher took a paper bag from her desk and went around the class to distribute her home-made cookies on brightly colored paper napkins. The cookies were instantly devoured by all, with the exception of a few. Smith, for one, was carefully examining it at all angles, handling it like toxic material. Maybe the chocolate chip smiley face had something to do with it. Whatever it was, it was clear that Mrs. Smith did not make or buy cookies - or, at least, not ones with smiley faces on them.   
  
"Trinity, do you want my cookie?"  
  
The blue-eyed girl smiled at the shy offering, as Perse fumed from across the room. Ghost just gaped with his mouth full of chocolate cookie.  
  
"I'd like that. Thank you, Neo."  
  
With a smug smile at Perse, she took the cookie from the blushing boy. Just behind her, Morpheus looked doubtfully from his half-finished cookie to Niobe. The thoughtful look on Locke's face settled the matter. Without another moment of hesitation, he shoved the crumbly cookie in front of Niobe's face. To her credit, the girl managed to keep a straight face.  
  
"Uh, no thank you."  
  
Satisfied that he'd done his boyfriend duty, Morpheus gave Locke a chocolate chip grin.  
  
"Well, you could have my cookie, Perse," Mero chipped in.  
  
Pretty smooth move, he thought to himself. But, Perse just continued to glare at Trinity.  
  
The boy sighed. Thwarted again.  
  
Another scuffle averted, the teacher smiled beatifically at her students. Without a thought for possible casualties, she decided it was safe to unleash her class on the playground.  
  
"Alright, children! Playtime!"  
  
Mero's eyes lit up.  
  
Aha. The perfect opportunity.  
  
Neo was going down. 


	4. Playtime

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Special thanks to midnite star watcher for this idea. ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.  
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 4 - Playtime  
  
Smith pursed his lips in annoyance as he followed the rest of the herd out the door. He certainly didn't like being treated like cattle, nor did he look forward to playing nicely with his classmates. Glaring at the cheerful sun, he looked around the playground and then brightened considerably. Right next to the brick walls off the opposite building stood his cousins.  
  
The lucky dogs were in the same kindergarten class under a different teacher. There was stocky Jones, leaning against the wall with arms crossed. Shorter and slimmer Brown stood next to him with hands in his pockets. None of them spoke much, but they never really had to, always being in perfect understanding of each other. Seeing Smith come over, the other two nodded in greeting. Smith returned it with his own curt nod. Then, his lips curved up in a smirk.  
  
"Do you have them?" Brown asked softly.  
  
Smith nodded. After sticking his hand in his pocket for a moment, he drew them out and uncurled his fingers to show their treasure. Jones leaned in closer and carefully picked up one of the items with his stubby fingers.  
  
"They came in the mail this morning."  
  
With a smug look, he let Brown take one, before inserting his own into his ear. The three had been saving cereal boxtops for months to get these genuine Agent earpieces. Now, they had them. Unfortunately, their mothers hadn't let them take their water pistol Desert Eagles to school. But, they could use them when they got home. For now, they would just gather information on terrorists.  
  
"So, who's the target?" Asked Jones.  
  
"Twelve o'clock," Smith replied. "The dark, bald one."  
  
"He has the disease?" Brown queried.  
  
"Affirmative. The dark girl is the carrier," said Smith.  
  
The three settled down with their backs against the brick wall and watched their unsuspecting target. The boy in question was scaling the jungle gym with another dark-skinned boy at his heels. The pig-tailed girl played on the swings, obviously disinterested in their antics. A Chinese boy pushed her even higher. Their blue-eyed friend, on the other hand, just sat in the other swing. She was talking to a dark-haired boy.  
  
"What about those other two?" Brown nodded towards the other two boys.  
  
"It's possible they've also been contaminated," Smith answered seriously.   
  
"You'd better keep an eye on them," Jones said flatly.  
  
Smith nodded.  
  
The see-saw not far from the swings was teetering wildly up and down as the white-haired twins rode it violently. Beside them, the French boy sat at the picnic tables with a girl in white. From the looks of it, the girl wasn't listening to him. Instead, she stubbornly sat with her back to the swings and her porcelain doll on her lap.  
  
"And as for him?" Brown asked.  
  
"We can handle him later on."  
  
Unaware of their conversation, Mero stood up from the picnic tables and walked over to the twins. After being ignored for a few seconds, he finally shouted something in French to get their intention. Must have been the curse words he professed to know. In either case, the twins stopped to look at him.  
  
"What do..."  
  
"...you want?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know. I just heard Morpheus and Locke saying that they could beat you two in climbing the jungle gym."  
  
The twins' eyes narrowed dangerously. If anything, they liked a challenge. And that definitely sounded like it. Without another word, they headed for the jungle gym. The Chinese boy, Ghost, followed to watch the competition, but Neo lingered in between. As he turned from the ongoing race to the talking girls, Mero came up to him.  
  
"Neo," he said in a friendly tone.  
  
"Hey, Mero," the other boy said shyly.  
  
"I noticed you like Trinity."  
  
The boy blinked innocently.  
  
"Of course, she's my friend."  
  
"Am I your friend, too?"  
  
"Uh...I guess. You haven't really talked to me."  
  
"Well, between friends, here's some advice."  
  
"What?" Neo tilted his head to one side.  
  
"I don't think you should be friends with white trash like Trinity."  
  
The most Mero had thought to accomplish was a burst of tears and the right to call Neo a crybaby. He definitely didn't expect the darkening face and the right hook that came out of nowhere. Before everything went black, he decided it was best not to underestimate the other boy another time. 


	5. Return of the Cooties

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed or sent their ideas. ^_^ I've been busy with school so this is a tad late. Hope you didn't mind the wait. ^_^ I especially enjoyed writing this chapter. And despite what happens here, me loves Smith. *huggles the Agent...said Agent just scowls*  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.  
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 5 - Return of the Cooties  
  
"Mero...Mero... Are you okay?"  
  
The boy blinked to find himself staring into a concerned face haloed by bright sunlight. The face was blurry and the voice distant. But, he knew who it was in a heartbeat. Although his head was still pounding - the dirt floor hadn't helped after the whallop he'd received - he managed a weak smile for his angel.  
  
"I think - "  
  
"I can't believe you actually stood up for me to Neo," she blithely interrupted him.  
  
"It was - "  
  
"That was so wonderful of you," she went on. "And to think he punched you! How uncouth."  
  
As he idly stared at his sweet's cute pout, he only half-listened to her prattle on...and on...and on... He wondered if he was sprawled on the ground as artistically as was possible considering the situation. Maybe he should move his hand this way...  
  
"Careful!"  
  
Her squeal of protest snapped Mero out of his reverie. Thinking she was concerned, the boy plastered a plastic weak smile on his lips. He intended to milk this for all it was worth. His nose seemed to be in one piece - merci Dieu! - but the split lip should still be worth a few points.  
  
Then, he realized she was moving farther away. Not closer.  
  
"You're going to get blood on my dress!" That pout again.  
  
Ah, women.  
  
Then, another face replaced that of his sweet. He stifled a groan. The old, doddering woman who called herself their teacher helped him to his feet. With an attentive Perse back at his side, he continued to ham it up as he was ushered to the clinic. The teacher's parting words to the other students just made his departure sweeter.  
  
"Back into the classroom, Neo. Stand in a corner and think of what you've done."  
  
Take -that-, golden boy. The Mero was back in the game. Life was good -  
  
"Does this hurt?" None-too-gentle fingers man-handled his aching jaw.  
  
A few choice French curses ran through his head against annoying old women.  
  
"And this?"  
  
That hurt.  
  
Maybe breaking open the champagne could wait after a visit to the clinic.  
  
A tense silence fell upon the playground as the teacher left with Mero and Perse. Neo stared at the ground, his face flaming red. Then, Trinity slipped her hand in his.  
  
"I heard what he said," she whispered. "Thank you."  
  
And with that, she kissed him softly on the cheek.  
  
If the boy could turn any redder, he would have.  
  
Morpheus eyed them thoughtfully and turned to Niobe. But, before he could say a word, she gave him a good glare. His mouth snapped shut.  
  
"I guess I should go inside," Neo said slowly, still flushed.  
  
"I'll see you after break." Trinity reassured him with a smile.  
  
The boy returned it with his own shaky smile as he kicked nervously at the dirt floor. Then, managing a nod, he reluctantly turned his back and crossed the courtyard to return to the classroom. After he'd left, Trinity settled back at the swings, eyes fixed on the window of said classroom. If she squinted hard enough, she could make out a dark head of hair in the back corner.   
  
Niobe, however, had left her to join a sullen Ghost at the jungle gym. On one side, the twins smirked at the dark-skinned pair opposite them. The four had finally agreed on the ground rules. The object of the game was to see who could reach the top and then get down the fastest.   
  
Ghost had been appointed referee. When Niobe caught him looking at Trinity again, she jabbed him in the side with an elbow and nodded towards the waiting contestants. In mimicry of his friend, he rolled his eyes.  
  
"Alright. Ready...get set...go!" He shouted  
  
As the four scrambled up the jungle gym, the contrasting dark-clothed trio glared at them.  
  
"Fools. Wasting their time on senseless things."  
  
Jones grunted in agreement, but Brown had his eye on Trinity.  
  
"She's already infected the other one. You had best stay away from him."  
  
"I will," Smith nodded sharply.  
  
Before they could continue their conversation, the bell rang to call an end to recess.  
  
"We have to get going," Brown said.  
  
From the other end, his and Jones' teacher beckoned impatiently. An exchange of nods and then, Smith found himself alone with his classmates. Their own teacher hadn't returned from the clinic yet. With unconcealed annoyance, he watched the racing contest turn into a shoving match. Ghost had happily joined in, distracted from Trinity. The blue-eyed girl just ignored the whole thing, while Niobe returned and started to swing. She was singing softly to herself when Smith approached them.  
  
"I know your plan," he told them.  
  
"What plan?" Niobe asked, interested.  
  
Trinity didn't seem to be listening.  
  
"You girls are trying to get all of us infected with your cooties," he stated flatly.  
  
At that, even Trinity had to look up and join Niobe at staring at him in disbelief. The girls turned to each other. For a moment, there was silence, then the two erupted in peals of laughter. Insulted, Smith straightened his dark blazer and crossed his arms at his chest.  
  
"Laugh all you want. I know the truth, and I'm not going to let you contaminate me."  
  
A more ominous silence followed. The girls looked at each other again and grinned.  
  
Disturbed, Smith reminded himself, Agents do not run.  
  
Then, the two females leaped up and came at him.   
  
And they should not go without back-up, he finished.  
  
Without another thought, he turned tail and ran.  
  
"We're going to kiss you! We're going to kiss you!"  
  
Never had the safety of the classroom seemed so far away. As he burst in, he could still hear the banshees behind him. With a last burst of speed and strength, he slammed the door shut and quickly got onto a chair to lock it. Safe at last. He let out a relieved sigh.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Smith looked at the hand on his arm. His eyes followed it up until it joined the rest of its body. The rest of its -contaminated- body.  
  
"Noooooooooo!"  
  
His life was over. 


	6. Smith, Smith, and Smith

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks to you lovely reviewers, with special mention to my fellow hardliners for their lovely ideas! For this one, the credit goes in part to September and Ryven. *huggles* [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.   
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 6 - Smith, Smith, and Smith  
  
When the teacher returned with Mero and Perse in tow, she found a brawl of fists, feet, dreadlocks, and Chinese curses. The two girls, however, just looked angelically up at her beside the classroom door. The teacher put her hand on the knob and turned it.  
  
It was locked. Her forehead furrowed in puzzlement and what was...  
  
"Boys, stop fighting...girls, move aside... What is that noise?!?"  
  
Once she unlocked the door, she still found it blocked by a chair. But, it was soon pushed aside and a wide-eyed Neo appeared in its place, lower lip trembling.  
  
"What happened, Neo?"  
  
"I...I..." He sniffed. "I touched Smith and he screamed at me! I didn't hurt him! Promise!"  
  
"It's alright," she said soothingly. "Why don't you sit down on this chair for a moment? ...Here have a cookie."   
  
She took one from her pocket and handed it to him. As she moved farther into the room, Trinity, who'd trailed behind, took another chair and sat as close as she could to Neo.  
  
"It's okay," she whispered, taking his hand. "Smith's just being weird. I know you wouldn't hurt anyone really."  
  
He managed a tremulous smile for her and rubbed his eyes with the back of his cookie-holding hand. But, his anxious look returned when the others came in and looked curiously at him. Trinity glared at the smirking twins, while Morpheus awkwardly patted his friend's back. Refusing to be beaten in this area either, Mero let out another moan and leaned dramatically on Perse's supporting arm. Locke just rolled his eyes at the entire soap opera, while Ghost glared at Neo.  
  
Niobe, however, had continued following their teacher and peered from behind at her classmate. The boy was curled up in a corner, his screams subdued to back-and-forth rocking.  
  
"Joh - ...Ah, Smith, are you okay, honey?" The teacher asked.  
  
"He...he contaminated me!" Smith wailed. "I have cooties now!"  
  
"Now, now," the teacher humored him. "I'm sure there's a cure."  
  
"There is?" His mussed-up head poked up from the burrow of his arms.  
  
"I'm sure," she said with a smile.  
  
Niobe covered her mouth to stop a giggle from escaping. But, Smith still heard her.  
  
"Stay away from me, you...you virus!"  
  
"Smith, it really isn't nice to call other people names." With a disapproving shake, she helped the boy up. "Now, get to your feet, before you get your nice blazer any dirtier."  
  
With a sniff, the boy straightened and brushed at his suit, still glaring at Niobe.  
  
Confident that the matter had been resolved, the teacher returned to the front of the class and clapped her hands to call for attention.  
  
"Well, class, I'm not happy with your behavior today. Because it's your first day, I'll be lenient. But, after this, if you misbehave - meaning, calling names or rough-housing - I will make you stand in a corner..." Most of the class looked unimpressed by the threat. "...and you won't be allowed to participate in Show-and-Tell."  
  
Appropriate shocked silence followed. She smiled.  
  
"So," the teacher continued, "Does everyone understand that?"  
  
Heads autmomatically nodded without a single word of protest.  
  
"Good. ...Now, I want all of you to return to your proper seats. We're going to have our first lesson. Arts and Crafts. On a short bond..." She started to pass out the sheets of paper. "...I want you to show what you liked most about your first day of school. You can use anything you want. Crayons...poster paint - "  
  
"Can we cut out pictures?" One asked eagerly.  
  
"Of course. I have some magazines, scissors, and paste," the teacher answered, pleased at the boy's enthusiasm.  
  
"Cool," Two whispered. "Maybe we'll get cut!"  
  
The two exchanged wide grins as their classmates hummed with excitement. Their teacher was already walking amongst them, handing out various art materials. Afterwards, a few minutes passed in serene silence. Except for an occassional look at her charges, the teacher was intent on a recipe for little gingerbread men.   
  
As is often the case, the silence didn't last long. And of course, like all great tragedies, things happened all at the same time. There were the twins running around with dreadlocks flying in their wake. They'd thankfully let go of their scissors, but having them gag on paste wasn't any better. At the center of the white whirlpool, Mero was trying to soothe a wailing Perse. Her immaculate white dress now had splotches of bright orange and neon green. The source was evident from the paint fight going on at the other end of the room between Morpheus and Locke. Those seated near them had taken cover under their desks, respective pictures clutched protectively to their chests.  
  
And in the midst of all the chaos, Smith worked intently at his picture, muttering under his breath.  
  
"Seraph!"  
  
In a flash, the nattily attired assistant teacher appeared at the door. Somehow, he knew just when to duck as a blob of red flew at him. Certain that the man was somehow connected to that nonsense about cooties, she shoved the paint-covered Morpheus and Locke towards him.  
  
"Clean them up. Now."  
  
As the boys were scrubbed clean, she washed the mouths of the rowdy twins and then helped Perse with her dress. When the group returned from the bathroom, the others were still thankfully in place. With her class settled down and Seraph shooed away, the teacher sat down at her desk.  
  
"So, who wants to show us what he or she has done?"  
  
Much to her disappointment, none of the children seemed eager to go up front. But, when Smith's hand shot up, the teacher wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not. Past experience with the little boy didn't speak well of him.  
  
"Alright, J - " A glare. A sigh. "Smith."  
  
She hadn't even passed J this time. He was getting faster. Stopping herself from rolling her eyes, she gestured for the boy to stand in front of the class, which he promptly did.  
  
"This is me, me, and me, too," the boy said seriously, pointing at his drawing. "After being contaminated..." Neo turned red. "...I've mutated and obtained the ability to multiply myself. I don't know how to work it yet, but once I do I can turn everyone else into me and rule the world."  
  
For a moment, there was stunned silence. Then, the twins started clapping enthusiastically, all in support for any multi-self campaign. Mero just smirked at his rival for the evil overlord position. The rest of the class just continued to stare at Smith in silence.   
  
"Well, that's...uh...nice, Smith," said his teacher. "Anyone else want to show their work?" 


	7. Art Class Continued

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks again to everyone. Sorry, if my postings are sporadic, but, college life is hell of a lot different from kindergarten. ^_^ And thanks also to those who've sent me ideas. Although I'll try to use what I can, sorry to those whose ideas don't pop up in future chapters. I've an overflow of plot bunnies. ^_^ [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.   
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 7 - Art Class Continued  
  
"So, anyone?"  
  
"I want to."  
  
Mero smiled smugly at the oblivious Neo as Perse helped him to his feet. Still smirking, he went up front and with great pomp and pageantry presented his work for all to see.  
  
"Ah..." The teacher struggled for something to say. "It's...it's very pretty, Mero."  
  
"I should think so." He flashed Perse a lady-killer smile. "I call it the Mona Perse."  
  
His teacher had to admit that it -did- look remarkably like the original painting in the Louvre. The only difference was the finely painted features of the dark-haired Perse, who preened at the attention. Most of the class were actually only mildly impressed and withheld comment. But, Smith was heard to mutter something about forgeries and cooties. Morpheus and Locke were also locked in a stare-down to silently debate the merits of their own art work. So, with all that going on, not many noticed Neo looking doubtfully at his own project.  
  
"Who want's to go next?" The teacher continued.  
  
When twin hands shot up, she stifled a grimace.  
  
"Okay, boys. Up front."  
  
The two stomped to the front of the classroom and held their joint work between them with exaggerated flourish. Their hodge-podge collage of magazine pictures was undecipherable. There simply seemed to be a lot of red and brown with other bits of color scattered in the periphery.  
  
"Uh...what is that, boys?"  
  
"We call it the smushed hamster," Two said proudly.  
  
"Or it will be when someone steps on it," added One.  
  
The two shared wide grins.  
  
All eyes turned to the hamster cage that had sat atop the cubby holes since early morning.   
  
The door was open.  
  
Perse was the first to react. With a shriek, she stood on her chair and continued to scream. With wary steps, Mero went to her and tried to comfort her. Smith continued to sit sullenly in his chair. The fate of a mere hamster was beneath him. The other boys, however, rushed around in search of said animal. Niobe and Trinity joined them, while the twins watched the hamster hunt with unconcealed glee. After a sharp look and separate corners for the pair, their teacher waded her way through the chaos and kept a sharp eye out for the hapless miniscule animal.   
  
"I found it!" Niobe smiled as she held up the shaking animal.  
  
"Thank you, Niobe," the teacher said gratefully.  
  
Replacing the hamster in its cage, she set it atop a high shelf.  
  
"Do you want to go next, Niobe?"  
  
The dark-haired girl nodded and walked up front with her picture.  
  
"What I like best about school is being with my friends."  
  
Niobe smiled brightly at Trinity as she showed a neatly crayoned drawing of the two of them with the four boys at their back.  
  
"Thank you, Niobe. That was a beautiful..." A -normal-. "...picture."  
  
When Trinity started to raise her hand, Perse's rose up immediately.  
  
"I want to go next," she said firmly.  
  
Without a word from the teacher, she went to the front and showed the picture she held in her hand. Trinity just shrugged, coolly unconcerned.  
  
"I looove my bee-yoo-ti-ful teacher." Perse's eyes fluttered at said woman in blatant flattery. "And, of course..." A wink. "...my new chattel."  
  
Her smile was just a tad too sweet and sharp. Mero looked slightly confused.  
  
"What does chattel mean?" Ghost asked, just as puzzled.  
  
Mero turned to their teacher for the explanation as Smith snorted loudly.  
  
"Ah, it means...a...a boyfriend," was the weak response.  
  
The teacher wondered if Perse knew that the word was really another term for slave. As Mero beamed, Perse just continued to smile sweetly. Somehow, the teacher thought she did. And well, the two words were in a -certain- matter of speaking synonymous...  
  
As Perse took her seat, the teacher motioned for Trinity to take her place up front. The short-haired girl obediently did so and promptly held up her picture. It was similar to Niobe's, except it showed a carefully crayoned Neo giving up his cookie at the center.  
  
"What I like about school are my friends and people who share."   
  
When she smiled directly at Neo, the boy flushed a deep red.  
  
"I share, too!" Ghost sulked in his seat.  
  
"That's nice, Trinity," said their teacher. "Now, who's next?"  
  
Morpheus and Locke had not stopped in their stare-down and both rose to their feet at the same time with a loud shout.  
  
"I wanna go first!"  
  
"Well, you're going to have to take turns. Who wants to be nice and let the other go first?"  
  
The two boys looked at each other for a brief moment, then shouted in synchrony once more.  
  
"He can go first!"  
  
"Ah...why don't I just pick? Locke, you go ahead."  
  
The boys smirked at each other, believing that each had won against the other.  
  
"Well, I like the order and discipline of school 'cause I'm a good boy, unlike -other- boys who start throwing paint at people." He smirked at the glaring Morpheus, then pointed at a crude stick person with bows on its head. "And I like Niobe, too, 'cause she's nice."  
  
The girl just smiled thinly. Thrilled, Locke threw Morpheus a smug look and sat down.  
  
"Now, what about you, Morpheus?"  
  
Still glaring, the boy went to the front and aggressively held out his picture for the class to see. It held a similar crude stick figure with more colored bows than hair. Niobe's smile became even thinner.  
  
"Well, I love school 'cause I love Niobe. So there." He looked challengingly at Locke.  
  
The other boy just stuck out his tongue as their teacher turned away to look at Ghost.  
  
"What about you, Ghost?"  
  
The Chinese boy plodded up front and held his picture to his chest, under his chin. He squinted down at it and pointed to the short-haired stick figure that was prominent among the group of clumsily crayoned people.  
  
"I like school 'cause I get to play at the playground and do lots of fun stuff with -my- best friend, Trinity."  
  
The last comment was accompanied by a pointed look at Neo. Yet, the boy seemed as oblivious as always to the barbs directed at him by others. He just looked up from careful study of his picture when the teacher called him.  
  
"You haven't showed us your picture, Neo." The teacher smiled warmly. "Why don't you?"  
  
The little boy showed a crayon picture of him and Trinity as she had comforted him earlier.  
  
"I like this school 'cause Trinity goes here, too," he said softly, looking down at his feet. "She's my neighbor at my new house, and she's always been nice to me. And that's why I like this school." 


	8. Naptime Interlude

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks once more to you wonderful, supportive people. Although I still write this for the pure fun of it, things wouldn't be as satisfying without your reviews. ^_^ I haven't really been up-to-date with things in general 'cause of school, but Bethy brought something to my attention. There's a fic similar to mine on ff.net. Inspired by mine, in fact. That and janey's shout-out for fan art leave me quite flattered. I'm not upset about the fic, and I won't name names. But, to the author in question, just a suggestion. Remember to properly credit others in the future. ^_^ ...Whew. This is a long author's note. So, without further ado, let's get on with the show. Lexie and Crystal, gracias for your suggestions. They insipired this chapter. Consider it a transition to Day 2. ~_^ [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it. This version of Snow White belongs to the brothers Grimm. And I do not own Pinky and the Brain. ^_^   
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 8 - Naptime Interlude  
  
The teacher watched as her class bustled about. It was clean-up time. As the boys scrubbed the last spot of paint clean, Locke pretended to stretch his arms instead of stifling a yawn. Perse did the same, except she delicately covered hers behind a lily-white hand. Their teacher hid a smile as she collected all the art materials and tucked them away in the cupboards. Just as she'd intended, the children had been worn out from fixing the chaotic aftermath of art class. It had also been a long day for all of them. The woman knew her students wouldn't admit as much, but she had a way to get them on the sleeping mats.  
  
"Now, children, let's take these mats from the cabinet and place them in the back."  
  
"You're not going to make us go to sleep, are you?" One asked dubiously.  
  
"Because we don't take naps. We're big boys, and we don't need to nap," Two chimed in.  
  
  
  
"Of course not," the teacher said with a smile. "It's story-time."  
  
"Oh!" Perse cooed happily. "Can we read Rapunzel? She has long hair, like me."  
  
The dark-haired girl smoothed her long locks with a superior look at Trinity.  
  
"Can we read Sleeping Beauty?" The other girl asked, ignoring Perse as always.  
  
"I refuse to listen to stories about stupid women," Smith firmly stated.  
  
"Women are not stupid," Niobe retorted coldly. "Maybe you'd like to hear 'bout Rumplestilkskin. He sounds just like you."  
  
"He does not!" Smith shouted.  
  
"Now, now, children. No shouting."  
  
"But, she called me names!"  
  
"He started it!"  
  
"Children."   
  
Sullen silence.  
  
"Settle down on your mats," the woman said, taking a chair. "We're going to read Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."  
  
Smith rolled his eyes and plopped down on his mat with arms crossed in silent protest. But, at one side, Mero seemed more interested in complimenting the preening Perse's hair. On the other, the twins were rowdily 'settling down'. Romping like a herd of wildebeasts was more like it, Smith grumbled to himself as a stray foot kicked him. After a threatening glare at the pair, he edged away from the group and settled near the cubby holes.   
  
Closer to the teacher, Niobe sat attentively, choosing to ignore Morpheus and Locke. The two boys were just behind her, shoving each other in an attempt to get closer to their idol. Trinity was similarly unperturbed just a few feet away from her friend. She was flanked by a sulky Ghost and a sleepy Neo. Perhaps the former's fierce frown had something to do with how the other boy's head rested on Trinity's shoulder from time to time. On each occasion, Neo would yank himself from sleep and sit ramrod straight with blushing face...until, it happened again that is. Trinity seemed not to notice, just smiling enigmatically.   
  
Considering that her class was as settled down as it ever would be, the teacher started to read from the picture book.  
  
"Once upon a time in mid-winter, when the snowflakes were falling like feathers from heaven, a beautiful queen sat sewing at her window, which had a frame of black ebony wood - "  
  
"What's ebony?" Trinity asked.  
  
"It's like the black of your hair," Neo said softly.  
  
And this time it was Trinity who flushed a rosy red.  
  
"As she sewed," the teacher continued placidly, "She looked up at the snow and pricked her finger with her needle. Three drops of blood fell into the snow. The red on the white looked so beautiful - "  
  
"Awesome!" The twins chorused.  
  
"...that she thought, 'If only I had a child as white as snow, as red as blood, and as black as this frame.' Soon afterward she had a little daughter that was as white as snow, as red as blood, and as black as ebony wood, and therefore they called her Little Snow-White..."  
  
As the story went one, yawns went from one to another and eyes drew low. Then, the teacher's lulling voice grew softer and softer, until there was naught but silence. And with a smile, she watched her sleeping charges, innocent in sleep every last one of them -   
  
"Same thing we do every night, Me. Try to take over the world!" Smith cackled in his sleep.  
  
Or then again, maybe not. 


	9. FANART: Halloween Matrix Kids

Sorry, folks, no new chapter as of yet. I'm busy...and, I kinda hit a rut. But, I'm pretty sure I'll have something new up for the weekend. Show-and-Tell's up next. Any suggestions? ^_^ And, to tide you guys over, there's some fanart - complete with dialogue - courtesy of Kitsune-chan. The dialogue's just below, but you can check out the matching picture at [www.thespoons.org/halloween_mtx_kids.jpg]. Brought to you by mussed and Spoon Productions. ~_^  
  
Neo Potter: That's a nice costume! (She's so cute!)  
  
Princess Trina: Thanks! Yours is cool too! (He's so cute!)  
  
Ghost: Hey Trinity, look at me! I'm the ghost of Ghost! Get it? Trinity?  
  
Leilani Niobe: Anyone wants some cupca- Locke, Morpheus, don't!!!  
  
Sheriff Locke: Niobe made cupcakes?! BANZAI!!!  
  
Samurai Morph: No way! DIBS!!!  
  
Teacher 'Racle: Morpheus, no! Put that away! LOCKE!!!  
  
Jason Two: Hi, Mom! Look, we got candy!  
  
Chibi-werewolf: Grrrr!  
  
Freddy One: Cheese!  
  
Chibi-vamp: Eek!  
  
The Bride of Mero-stein (thinking): Boys are so weird.  
  
Mero-stein (thinking): Ma Cheri is my bride!  
  
Sgt. Seraph: Ack, the floor's all sticky!  
  
Ninja Smith: All right, Me, the time is right to take all their candy!  
  
Ninja Bane: Uh, my name is Bane and do we really want everything?  
  
Ninja Smith: YES! Even if it includes a few whacks from Morpheus' sword!  
  
Ninja Bane: If it's all right with you I'd rather not have Trinity beat me up again… 


	10. Show & Tell Twin Terror Style

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone once more. ^_^ Romuska, constructive criticism duly noted. But, I don't have much exposure to British people, and I'm not very serious about this fic. It's just for fun. But, thanks for the pointers. ~_^ And for all those who commented on the fanart, all the credit goes to Kitsune-chan. There's a new one coming up. So, keep an eye out for it. And Tarock, cooties is slang for, to quote yourdictionary.com, "a body louse". Little boys say "yucky" girls pass it on through contact. Hehe. ~_^ Lastly, idea credits...Crystal, cronus, Danascully, chord, and Ryven. But, thanks to everyone all the same. ^_^ [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.   
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 9 - Show & Tell Twin Terror Style  
  
One waited impatiently as his mother held his struggling sibling by the arm. That -woman- insisted on wiping sticky maple syrup from his twin's chin before letting him go. If One could blush, he would. Finally released, Two dodged a good-bye kiss, which One similarly avoided. With mumbled farewells, the two entered the school courtyard. Backpacks neatly slung over their right shoulders, they walked towards their classroom.   
  
The place was a-buzz with noise as their classmates flaunted or stubbornly hid the things they'd brought for show-and-tell. Teacher 'Racle had relented yesterday after the hamster fiasco and allowed the twins to bring something. One shared a smirk with his brother. They'd show their classmates what big boys brought for show-and-tell. No crummy pet frogs in cartons for them. No sir'ree. After shoving their bags into the neatly labeled cubbies, One followed Two to their seats. Together, they sat back and watched their classmates.  
  
One idly passed over Smith who was hunched over at his desk, muttering to himself. That guy was whacked. One's father would say he belonged to the nut farm...or was it funny house? Indifferent, One went on to watch Mero. The dark-haired boy had a box on his desk. With a protective hand atop its cover, he whispered in Perse's ear. One just rolled his eyes. He didn't even want to know what the girlfriend of his foppish neighbor had brought.  
  
He turned as he felt his twin nudge him in the ribs. With an annoyed glance, he raised a questioning eyebrow. Two just smiled widely and nodded over to the squabbling Morpheus and Locke. One's eyebrow shot up even higher. It's not like that was anything new. Then, he saw what his brother was not so subtly pointing at. Pushing the hand down, One looked speculatively at the toy models on Niobe's desk.  
  
"Hmmm...perfect. We can use them later." The twins smirked.  
  
"Good morning, class," Teacher 'Racle said as she entered.  
  
Setting her things down on her desk, she clasped her hands in front of her and leaned against the front of the table.  
  
"So, who wants to go first?" She smiled at the sight of furiously waving hands. "Neo, what about you? Do you want to do it?"  
  
The boy was the only one not volunteering. His face was red so often that One wondered if that was the boy's natural color.  
  
"Uh...okay," Neo said weakly.  
  
Taking out a bag from under his desk, he set it down on the little table that had been placed on-stage next to that of the teacher. The others' expectant looks fell when all he brought out of the bag was a spoon.  
  
"He brought a spoon?" Two snickered.  
  
"The baby probably thinks it's a big thing that he can eat with utensils," One chortled.  
  
The sharp look from across the room was followed with a mouthed, "Shut, up, albino boys."  
  
One and Two simultaneously stuck out their tongues at Trinity. But, much to One's dismay, they were not as lucky in going unnoticed.  
  
"Boys, if you won't behave and listen to Neo, you won't be allowed to participate today. Understood?" She raised an eyebrow at them.  
  
"Yes, ma'am," One chorused with his brother.  
  
After rolling his eyes at Two, he turned back to watch Neo. The boy now had a dark velvet piece of cloth in one hand. Raising the spoon up, he turned uncertainly to Trinity who gave him an encouraging smile. He returned it with a shaky one of his own and covered the spoon with the cloth.  
  
"Abracadabra. Alakazam."  
  
One had to strain to even hear the boy. Just as he was about to make a snarky comment to his brother, Neo yanked the cloth off and proudly held up his empty hand.  
  
"There is no spoon!"   
  
After a moment's stunned silence, enthusiastic applause burst out led by Trinity. She was still clapping when the blushing boy shuffled back to his seat.  
  
"That was great."  
  
"You think so?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Maybe red really was Neo's color, One mused to himself.  
  
"What a wonderful magic act, Neo. Now, who'll be next?"  
  
"If the wonderful lady would allow me, I would like the honor," Mero said with a low bow.  
  
"The suck-up," Two whispered from beside his brother.  
  
"Alright, Mero."  
  
The French boy carefully carried his box up front and flipped open the top with great flourish.  
  
"Viola. Chocolate decadent. Sure to melt hearts and make mouths water. And it comes with grape juice!"  
  
Mero pulled out a silver flask of said juice in what was supposed to be one smooth, suave motion. One had to cough back a laugh when the improperly capped container let out a spurt of juice instead, which hit both Mero and Teacher 'Racle. One couldn't have done it better himself - but, of course, his wouldn't have been accident and he wouldn't have been stupid enough to get it all over his immaculate white clothes. The fop obviously had the same concern for his attire. The appalled look spoke volumes.   
  
One snickered as Teacher 'Racle hustled Mero out so they could clean up. In the aftermath, a silent lull fell on the room. So, it was with some interest that One and his twin watched Perse walk over to Neo. The shy boy was looking at a picture that Trinity had handed to him.  
  
"My dad gave me that bike for my birthday. Isn't it cool?"  
  
The boy nodded his head as Trinity continued.  
  
"And look, I got these shades to wear when I'm driving it."  
  
"You're such a tomboy," Perse cooed sweetly. "But, then again, I guess not everyone can pull of being a girl like I can."   
  
One watched her give the other girl a toothy smile. Trinity stiffened at her words, whereas Neo looked at a loss as to how to defend her from another girl. Satisfied that her words at hit their mark, Perse continued.  
  
"Look, what -I- have." She took out a little black book. "It's a list of all the boys I've kissed. Do you want to give me a sample, Neo?" She fluttered her lashes at the clearly flustered boy.  
  
"Sample this."  
  
Trinity raised her hand warningly at the other girl.   
  
"Oh! Cat fight!" One exchanged a grin with his twin.  
  
But, much to their disappointment, Perse just sniffed.  
  
"Perhaps another time, Neo...when there aren't any tomboys around."  
  
With a flip of her long hair, the girl turned on her heel and left.  
  
"Aha. Point for Perse. What's the score?" One asked his brother.  
  
"Uh...one...two... One...two... Well, I think Trinity's winning."  
  
"Maybe we can start a pool." One rubbed his hands together at the thought. "We could get loads and loads of money from betting on them, don't you think?"  
  
Before Two could answer him, their teacher came back with Mero.  
  
"I don't think we have time to finish everyone today - " The teacher started.  
  
"Awww!!!"  
  
"...Well, maybe we can do a few more. Smith?"  
  
"I'm not ready yet," the boy flatly stated.  
  
"I see - " The bell's shrill ring sounded through the corridors and interrupted her. "Well, why don't we continue this after recess then." 


	11. FANART: Zodiac Matrix Kids

I'm still working on the follow-up to Show & Tell, but here's more fanart for you guys to gush over. Check out the Zodiac key card below. ~_^ The art's over at [www.thespoons.org/zodiac_mtx_kids.jpg]. Both are courtesy of Kitsune-chan, and it's all brought to you by mussed and Spoon Productions. ^_^  
  
-----  
  
+ Positive Trait   
  
- Negative Trait  
  
# Tarot Card  
  
* Spiritual Goal  
  
-----  
  
Leo (Neo)  
  
+ Courage to the point of self-sacrifice  
  
- Stubborn  
  
# Fortitude  
  
* Learn the meaning of love  
  
*****  
  
Cancer (Merovingian)  
  
+ Tenacious  
  
- Over-powering  
  
# The Chariot  
  
* Balanced view  
  
*****  
  
Virgo (Trinity…and a formerly conscious Persephone)  
  
+ Emotionally warm  
  
- Undemonstrative  
  
# The Hermit  
  
* Learn the difference between criticism and wisdom  
  
*****  
  
Scorpio (Smith)  
  
+ Unshockable  
  
+ Protective  
  
+ Intense concentration  
  
+ Penetrating  
  
- Self-destructive  
  
- Sadistic/ruthless/insulting  
  
- Vindictive/cunning  
  
- Dangerous  
  
# Death  
  
* Learn the meaning of selfless love  
  
*****  
  
Gemini (The Twins)  
  
+ Inventive  
  
- Impatient/irritable  
  
# The Lovers   
  
(Fangirls: Heheheh; Twins: Ulp!)  
  
* Learn to cooperate  
  
*****  
  
Pisces (Brown & Jones)  
  
+ Helpful  
  
- Can lose touch with reality  
  
# The Moon  
  
* Peace through compassion  
  
*****  
  
Libra (Architect & Oracle)  
  
+ Refined  
  
- Manipulative  
  
# Justice  
  
* Learn the meaning of selfless love   
  
*****  
  
Capricorn (Ghost…or Seraph)  
  
+ Fearless/calculates risks but takes them when necessary  
  
- Unforgiving/fatalistic  
  
# The Devil  
  
* Understanding the feelings of others  
  
*****  
  
Sagittarius (Bane-as-a-Centaur)  
  
+ Disarmingly happy  
  
- Hot-headed  
  
# Temperance  
  
* Use talents to guide others  
  
*****  
  
Taurus (Locke)  
  
+ Resourceful  
  
- Stubborn  
  
# High Priest  
  
* Learn value of insight  
  
*****  
  
Aries (Morpheus)  
  
+ Leader  
  
- Impulsive  
  
# The Magician  
  
* Learn the meaning of selfless love  
  
*****  
  
Aquarius (Niobe)  
  
+ Loyal friendship  
  
- Uncertainty  
  
# The Star  
  
* Self-confidence 


	12. When Twin Terrors Attack

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Show & Tell wouldn't fit in one chapter, so here's part two. Idea credits are the same. ~_^ And thanks to those who reviewed! Hit more than a hundred reviews! Love you people! ^_^ And Xander, I don't mind you writing a story along similar lines. But, rather than a spin-off (i.e., you follow from where I leave off, or a semi-sequel), I think you should be creative and start from scratch. Simply crediting me for inspiring your work is fine. ~_^ ...Kitten Overdrive, you should check out Kitsune-chan's "Adopt a Smith" fanart. Will post it sometime soon. [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it. I have no claim whatsoever on the Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise, or William Gibson's Neuromancer. And I also do not own the Carl Douglas' song used here.  
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 10 - When Twin Terrors Attack  
  
Two shoved the last of his crackers and cheese into his mouth, eagerly waiting for his teacher to return. She'd just stepped out for a moment to talk to the principal. Looking at the old goat with a goatee made him think of fried chicken. ...Hmmm. Maybe his mother would cook some for lunch.  
  
After a few moments of watching the grown-ups yak away, he began to look around the room at his classmates. All seemed to be just as bored. None of them had been allowed out to the playground after yesterday's chaos. But, the mention of gym class right after show-and-tell sounded promising.   
  
Now, if only the old goat would go away...  
  
Catching his brother's attention, he wriggled a milk carton straw suggestively. His smirk was soon mirrored on his twin's face. Humming softly to himself, One started to crumple pieces of paper. But, just as he'd finished making their missiles, Teacher 'Racle came in and closed the door not too gently in the goat's face. Oh well, Two shrugged at his brother. Maybe another time.   
  
"Well, Smith, are you ready now?"  
  
Sharing a scowl with his grumbling brother, Two glared at the weird boy who sat in front of them. Smith, as he insisted on being called, was constantly talking to himself. One told him that the other boy was what they called a cuckoo head. Two didn't know what that meant, but it sounded bad.  
  
In any case, the boy had stood from his place and started for the door. That was interesting... Before their teacher could protest, Smith opened it and dragged in someone from outside. A slightly flustered woman - apparently Smith's mother - was there, too. She just shrugged at Teacher 'Racle with a bemused look on her face. Without breaking his stride, Smith brought his companion up front. Suddenly releasing his tight grip on the other's arm, the person - a confused-looking boy - started to fall. And he would have if Smith hadn't grabbed him by the shoulders and held him to face the class.  
  
"I've just made a breakthrough," he said in monotone.   
  
Two could only stare in disbelief at the other boy.   
  
"I've turned my brother into a mini-me! Now, he looks just like me!"   
  
Smith placed his face next to that of the younger boy for comparison.  
  
"Do you see it?" Smith cackled. "First, him! Tomorrow...the world!"  
  
For a moment, stunned silence filled the room.  
  
"...Can I have my cookie now, J - "  
  
"Smith," the older boy hissed at his brother. "That's your name, too."  
  
"Uh, okay...can I have my cookie?"  
  
"Oh, go ask my maker," Smith huffed.  
  
Pushing the little boy to the door, he straightened his jacket.  
  
"There seem to be some flaws, but I've no doubt I can smoothen them out in future versions."  
  
And with that last statement, the boy walked back to his desk.  
  
"Mommy, can I have a cookie?"  
  
"When we get home, Bane dear."  
  
"Yeah! Coo-kie!"  
  
After closing the door behind the mother and child, Teacher 'Racle stayed with her back to the class for some time. She seemed to be...shaking? Two frowned in confusion. However, his teacher soon turned back with a serene smile.  
  
"So, who wants to be next?"  
  
"Me!" Ghost waved his hand furiously in the air.  
  
"What do you have for us?"  
  
The Chinese boy came up front and held out a book.  
  
"I just got this cool book," Ghost said proudly. "It's Gibson's Neuromancer for Kids!"  
  
Puzzled, Two looked at his twin, who just shrugged.  
  
"That's interesting, Ghost," their teacher commented.  
  
"It's all about the Matrix and how it represents data and its pathways, too. And there's this virtual reality that..."  
  
Two rolled his eyes and burrowed his head under his arms. He must have drifted off for a moment. The next thing he knew, One was nudging him not so gently with an elbow. With a sleepy glare, Two straightened in his seat to find Niobe on stage. The girl had placed her ship model on the small table. She enthusiastically listed the merits and drawbacks of said model, while Morpheus shuffled behind her to wait his turn.   
  
"Think we can take them?"  
  
One's eyes gleamed with unholy glee.  
  
"'f course we can," Two said-yawned.  
  
"Oh look! Locke's coming up next to Morpheus," his twin whispered, grinning widely. "Fight! Fight! Fight!"   
  
Two joined the chant under his breath.  
  
"And see! If you press this button...WHAM! You can blast the enemies and knock their power off! Isn't that cool? And lookie here - "  
  
"There's no such weapon that can knock off power," Locke cut in.  
  
"There is, too!"  
  
"There is not!"  
  
"Well, how would -you- know?"  
  
"My daddy's in the mili-ta-we! So there!"  
  
Locke slapped on a dark beret.  
  
"Well, if he was just some G.I. Joe he wouldn't know much," Morpheus scoffed.  
  
"That's not true! Besides, he's in the Navy!"  
  
"Same difference!" Morpheus said stubbornly.  
  
"Boys, that's enough!"  
  
Two rolled his eyes at his teacher's interjection. Just when things were getting exciting...  
  
"I think it's about time we had our gym class."  
  
"But, what about us?!" Shouted Two and his twin.  
  
Teacher 'Racle had the exact same look she had when she sent them to separate corners.  
  
All of a sudden, things didn't look too good.  
  
"...Fine," she finally said with one of those fake, toothpaste ad smiles. "You can do your show-and-tell. -But-, you'll be doing it at the gym."  
  
Without another word, she herded them out the door. One looked with unconcealed longing at the targets they were leaving behind, now safely tucked away in their owners' cubbies.  
  
"We'll just have to improv," he told Two dourly.  
  
As the gym doors closed behind the class, everyone sat on the mats, while Teacher 'Racle looked expectantly at Two and his brother.  
  
"Well, boys?" She arched a wary eyebrow at them.  
  
"Ready?"   
  
"Ready."   
  
Two could hear the music in the back of his mind.   
  
Oh-oh-oh-oh...  
  
He smirked at his brother as they took strips of white cloth and tied it about their heads. Their evil grins widened a notch as they heard the gasp that followed the revelation of what they had for show-and-tell. And brandishing matching switchblades, they ran pell-mell towards each other.  
  
"Everybody was Kung Fu fighting, those kids were fast as lightning  
  
In fact it was a little bit fright'ning, make sure you have expert timing  
  
Kung Fu fighting, had to be fast as lightning..." 


	13. FANART: The Twins & AAS

Here's the promised twin-centered goodness for all their loving fans. This is once more courtesy of Kitsune-chan, with the help of mussed and Spoon Productions. ^_^  
  
Twins' Mom: (http://www.thespoons.org/twins_mom.jpg)  
  
This is inspired by the first scene in "Show & Tell." The Twins' mom is an ninja/assassin/lawyer who kills people (her most recent client was George Lucas (See http://theforce.net/humor/captioning/cap89.shtml) and she's based on "Asizi" from "Action Man." One is dressed in skater clothes and has an 8-ball keychain on his backpack, while Two is going goth and his keychain is a "Sootball" from "Spirited Away." I don't know what's in that box Two's carrying, but it's gotta be something interesting since the label reads "Danger: Keep Out Of Reach Of Children!" Perse (with her "Big Book of Boys") and Mero (with his dessert) are off to the side; Perse is eyeing Two's kawaii keychain, while Mero (I don't know why I dressed him in Tommy Hilfiger clothes but it fits somehow) is snickering somewhat nervously...  
  
Twins' B-day: (http://www.thespoons.org/twins_bday.jpg)   
  
The Twins and two of their beastly little friends are at Chuck E. Cheeze's. Two has made One a "Teddy...bear...cat...thing" with the "help" of the Vamp (whose name is Rika Miro) and the Doberman (whose name is...Remus Lupin?!). One is wearing a "Vrista Vultures" jersey, while Two is wearing a "Slytherin Serpents" sweater.  
  
-----  
  
And for the Smith fans... Here's the promotion for the "Adopt A Smith" (AAS) campaign. ^o^  
  
AAS1: (http://www.thespoons.org/aas1.jpg)   
  
The fangirl is supposed to look like "Dot Matrix" (from "Reboot") in a schoolgirl outfit, not a female oompa-loompa.  
  
AAS 2: (http://www.thespoons.org/aas2.jpg)  
  
No idea who she's supposed to be (if you look closely you can see she's got "Cruella deVil" hair), but I like that shirt and the looks on the two chibi's faces (somewhere between "Can't...breathe...!" and "WHAT THE- ?!") are priceless! Dedicated to all the fanppl who wanted to adopt the chibis! 


	14. Gym & Games

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks to reviewers and readers alike. ^_^ Finally, here's a fun-filled chapter for the chibis. And here's a present for Zephyr, who asked nicely. ~_^ Other idea credits go to Mercury, Ryven, and midnite star watcher. ^_^ And I know this came a tad late, but I've been busy and planned to post new fanart links before this chapter. However, mussed seems to be AWOL. So, chapter first, fanart later. [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.   
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 11 - Gym & Games  
  
After Seraph, the teacher's assistant, had herded the bruised and beaming twins to the infirmary, a sharp clap of hands got the students' attention.  
  
"Alright, class, what about a game of dodge ball?"  
  
The children started to cheer when the teacher held up her hand.  
  
"But, because you're unevenly numbered, one of you can't play."  
  
"Aw! No fair," Morpheus and Locke said simultaneously.  
  
They stuck their tongues out at each other in disgust, but their teacher placidly continued.  
  
"And I think it's better if I group you myself."  
  
Neo subconsciouly took Trinity's hand and bit his lip. When she squeezed his hand back in return, he visibly jumped and then smiled weakly at her. But, he didn't let go of his grip.  
  
After all, he happily reasoned, she hadn't pulled away.  
  
"I don't mind if I don't play, Teacher 'Racle," Perse volunteered with a sickly sweet smile.   
  
"How nice of you to offer, dear."  
  
As the teacher turned away, Perse whispered to Mero, "That way I won't dirty my dress."  
  
"How smart of you, ma cheri."  
  
Perse just smirked in return.  
  
"Well, children, here's how it'll be. Neo, Trinity..." The boy let out a relieved sigh. "...Morpheus, and Locke - "  
  
"What!?!" Both boys shouted.  
  
"No shouting," the teacher sternly reprimanded them. "Maybe this will teach you two a lesson on how to cooperate."   
  
The two remained sullen. Unruffled at their attitude, the teacher went on with the list.  
  
"The other team will have Smith, Mero, Ghost, and Niobe."  
  
"I refuse to work with that cootie-infested female," Smith flatly stated.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry, Smith," the teacher tartly replied. "That's an order."  
  
The boy joined the sulky duo and unhappily shuffled to his proper place.  
  
After giving a bright red rubber ball to Neo, the teacher blew a whistle. At first uncertain, Neo fumbled with the ball. It flew from his hands and nearly hit the petulant Smith in the face. The boy turned a pale white that made Neo flinch. With just a moment's pause, the ball went zooming right at Neo who barely dodged it. Aside from the occassional misfire, the game quickly turned into a two-man war, with Neo as an unwilling opponent. He didn't want to throw it at one of his friends, and Mero was too far back to reach. That left him with only one option, and Smith clearly had no qualms of specifically targeting him.  
  
The teacher remained oblivious, barricaded behind a cookbook, while the other students found other ways to entertain themselves. Niobe and Ghost talked about their friend Sparks, who was in another class. Uninterested in their chatter, Mero bemoaned the fate of his juice-stained shirt to Perse in the sidelines. On the other side, Morpheus and Locke tried to outdo each other with funny faces. In fact, only Trinity remained interest in the dodge ball game, eyes anxiously fixed on Neo.  
  
"Ack!" Neo shouted, bending backwards. "Trinity, help!"  
  
The boy winced as he landed on his back with a thump, barely missing the ball. Patience worn thin, Trinity got the ball and threw it with a satisfying smack straight at Smith's stomach.  
  
"Dodge this."  
  
With that, she turned to Neo.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"I think so."  
  
"You move fast."  
  
"Not really."  
  
He blushed at her praise.  
  
"Well, it seems Neo's team has won," the teacher said, resurfacing from her recipes.  
  
Smith glowered.  
  
"What about another game?"   
  
"I know! I know!"   
  
Ghost waved his hand wildly in the air to catch the teacher's attention. Amused, she nodded at him to continue.   
  
"We can play Duck, Duck, Goose!"  
  
"That's for babies," Smith scoffed.  
  
"My brother is not a baby," Trinity snapped.  
  
"He's not your real brother," was the retort.  
  
"You're one to talk about brothers, Mr. Mini-Me."  
  
"Bane's not my brother! He's me! Me, I tell you!"  
  
Trinity just raised an eyebrow and turned her back on the boy. At her swift defense of him, Ghost had flushed with a hue to match Neo's "natural color". And throughout this, their teacher tried to hold onto the dredges of her patience. Her former students at the IMGC - AKA, the Institute for Mentally Gifted Children - had been nothing like this.  
  
"Well, why don't we try this game? Do all of you know how to play it?" Nine heads bobbed in unison. "Alright then. Let's get into a circle."  
  
Ghost happily plopped down on the floor, flanked by Niobe and Trinity. Neo smiled weakly as the latter patted the spot next to her. He slowly sat down, while Morpheus and Locke scrambled for the remaining spot next to Niobe. Morpheus won, leaving Locke to sullenly sink down beside the smug boy. To add insult to injury, Smith sat down next to him. The blank-faced boy was followed by Perse and then Mero, who didn't trust Neo near his girlfriend. ...Or what it the other way around?   
  
"Alright. Who'll go first?"  
  
"Can I, Teacher?" Trinity asked.  
  
"Sure, dear. You go ahead."  
  
The girl got to her feet, while her former spot was filled in by Ghost and Neo.  
  
"Duck..." Neo blushed.   
  
"Duck..." Mero yawned.  
  
"Duck..." Perse smirked.  
  
"Goose."  
  
Like a shot, Smith was up on his feet and after Trinity. Whenever she got near his empty place, he surged ahead and cut her off. Pretty soon, they were zig-zagging around the gym, going circles around bemused classmates, a worried Neo, and a teacher in desperate need of an aspirin. The two started to clamber up the bleachers. With Smith still hot at her heels, Trinity started to race for the other set of stands. A foot or so of empty space separated them. As the others held their breath, Trinity leaped -  
  
And made it.  
  
The children applauded as their teacher finally called an end to the bedlam.  
  
"Stop now!"  
  
Smith skidded to a stop just before the gap and turned to glare at the teacher.  
  
Unconcerned, she gestured for them to come down from the bleachers. Once everyone was safely on the ground, she pointed to the door.  
  
"March right back to the classroom. That's enough of gym for today." 


	15. Mush, Mosh, & Music

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: No, I wasn't sucked into a black hole - unless that's another name for law midterms. Anyway, I'm back! ^_^ Thanks to all you lovely people out there for your reviews! ~_^ Here's some points for clarification though...the fanart and funky dialogues aren't mine, they're Kitsune-chan's...mussed will be back soon to post new ones...yes, I know Ghost & Trinity aren't really related, check out Enter the Matrix...Locke & Niobe seem to be about to break up in movie-verse, so it's Morpheus & Niobe here...a serious Trinity, well her soft side's only meant for Neo really...and Eddie, Sparks? Hmmm. ^_^ Lastly, for this idea...chord, this is to you. ~_^ [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.   
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 12 - Mush, Mosh, & Music  
  
Just as the class had settled down on a rubber mat, Seraph entered with his usual unperturbed expression. He waved in the bandaged twins with their wide grins. They were excitedly discussing what the obliging nurse had shared with them about cuts and burns. The last was hardly a good thing to add to the twins' repertoire. Seraph just smiled.   
  
With a nod of his head, he started for the door. He would have gotten away, too, if it hadn't been for the omnipresent 'Racle and her restraining hand on his elbow.   
  
Drat. He'd been -that- close.  
  
Like some naughty boy, he was not-too-gently drawn back into the room and pushed - more like shoved - in the direction of the children. He was hard-kept to keep his cool.  
  
"I need to see the nurse about the twins' records," the teacher said sweetly.  
  
"Oh, I could handle that - "  
  
"Perhaps. But, you really should practice for next year...Teacher Seraph."  
  
Her smile looked too much like a smirk for his comfort. Before he could even say a word in protest, she was out the door. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to keep on smiling and went to the children.  
  
"Well, well...well," he finished lamely.  
  
He looked around the room for inspiration. When he caught sight of the musical instruments stacked up on a shelf, a lightbulb went on.  
  
"What about a music and...uh, dance class?"  
  
The children looked at each under for a moment and then, shrugged. Seraph let out a sigh he hadn't even known he was holding in. Turning to the shelf, he brought down a pair of drums and an electronic keyboard.  
  
"I want a drum!" Morpheus and Locke shouted at the same time.  
  
Lips quirking, Seraph watched as the two boys exchanged glares.  
  
"It's alright," he told them. "There are two of them."  
  
He handed one to each and then, held up the keyboard.  
  
"Anyone?"  
  
Niobe raised her hand, tugging at Ghost's arm at the same time.  
  
"Ghost and I know how to play Chopsticks. We take piano lessons."  
  
"Pansy," the twins' snickered. "Pansy Ghosty! Ghosty Pansy!"  
  
"Boys, that's enough!" Seraph said, trying out Stern Voice #1.  
  
Thankfully, the twins did so after one last synchronized snicker.  
  
Although a little flushed, Ghost resolutely stepped forward and took the keyboard to set it down on the floor next to him and Niobe. She and Trinity were too busy glaring at the twins to even notice. Then, Niobe's brown eyes lit up and sparkled mischievously. She whispered something to Trinity that made the other girl's eyes widen. A wicked smile followed. Ghost just shook his head. Whatever the boy's friends were planning in revenge... Seraph prayed it was nothing catastrophic. But, with girls involved...who knew?  
  
After a while, Niobe joined Ghost and they started to play Chopsticks. For some strange reason, the French boy Mero seemed to think that it made for excellent waltz music. Then again, maybe he just considered it as another way to sweep his idol of her feet - literally. The couple waltzed away, and from the looks of it, another would be joining them soon. Trinity was sitting serenely next to Neo, all but twiddling her thumbs. The boy, on the other hand, kept on leaning in to start to speak and then, abruptly pulling back. His face was an amazing shade of tomato red.  
  
"Neo, teach me how to dance," Trinity finally said.  
  
Taking his hand, she pulled the deliriously happy boy to his feet. Pretty soon, she was leading him along in a waltz. Regardless of Trinity's words, it was obvious who had the two-left-feet.   
  
Seraph started to let himself relax a little bit.  
  
That was a bad idea.  
  
Loud thumps that rivaled tribal war drums suddenly filled the room. Morpheus and Locke held a heated stare-down over their instruments as they beat madly away. Seraph was expecting half-naked natives to come out of the woodwork next. They'd probably be shrieking blood-curdling screams to match the drums, too.  
  
Bad, bad, BAD thought.  
  
As if they'd read his mind, the twins suddenly leapt up like jack-in-the-box's and began jumping up and down, head-banging and dreadlocks flying.   
  
Any moment now. One...two... Ah yes, there were the screams.  
  
"Mosh pit!!!"  
  
Two boys a-moshing...  
  
Two boys a-drumming...  
  
Two couples a-dancing...   
  
Two kids a-pianoing...  
  
Wait a moment. They were more than ten. ...Where was Smith?!  
  
Seraph's eyes shot about the room in search of the missing boy.   
  
"What are you looking for?" A voice snapped from right beside him.  
  
He almost jumped at the sound. Somehow managing to keep his composure, Seraph turned and looked down to find Smith sitting at the desk next to him. With eyebrow arched, the boy calmly waited for him to answer.  
  
"Nothing...nothing at all."  
  
"I'm surrounded by morons."  
  
At least, that's what Seraph thought the boy had muttered. What happened next didn't allow him to think about it, and by later on, he'd already have forgotten.  
  
One moment, Trinity was leading Neo along in a mangled version of the tango. And then, she might have looked at Niobe. Either way, that wicked smile appeared on her face again. Next thing Seraph knew, she was plowing through the twins. That sent them flying into the cupboards...which shook the art material basket...which upset the red paint...which coated the twins crimson...which made them scream bloody murder...  
  
Which brought a glaring clairvoyant 'Racle to the classroom door.  
  
Who knew that being a teacher's assistant was so nerve-wrecking? 


	16. The Substitute

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Sorry for the exceedingly long delay. Life and runaway muses are my only excuses. This comeback is thanks to certain persistent faithful fans, you know who you are. ~_^ No idea credits for this one. But, kudos to those who can connect my last Construct post to who the substitute is. Matter of fact, first one to guess who it is gets the next chapter dedicated to him/her. Sem's almost done and I've time to write! Yeah. ~_~ [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.   
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 13 - The Substitute  
  
The last bell rang and the long line of short kindergarteners shuffled into their classroom. With disgruntled looks on their faces and yawns to match, it was clear that a hatred for Monday mornings came that early in life. A stern Niobe was line monitor that day and she shamelessly poked at the twins so they wouldn't wander off. The two simultaneously stuck out their tongues at her, but went along with others. Once inside the room, they were surprised to see that their teacher wasn't at her desk. Usually she stood with them at flag ceremony, but she'd been missing as early as then.  
  
A sleepy Neo buried his head in his arms atop his desk, while Trinity talked to Niobe. If Perse was insulted at being left out of the girl talk, she didn't show it. Instead, she combed her doll's hair and idly watched Mero fiddle with some antique keys. He was trying to get a jewelry box open and she couldn't wait to see what was inside. Just behind them, the twins were trying to flawlessly mirror each other's movments. Two let out an outraged yelp though when One grabbed at a dreadlock.  
  
The three other boys sat at the back, perched dangerously on top of the cubbyholes. A chair had been dragged there as a step up. And now, the trio cheerfully swung their legs as they studied their little "kingdom"...that is, until a fight broke out between Locke and Morpheus over who should be king. All the while, Smith sat at his desk, oblivious to his classmates as he gauged the capabilities of his latest techno-gadget, special issue to Agents only. With extreme care, he pressed each button and carefully noted the responses. And that was how Principal Archie found the class.  
  
The door swung open with a bang, and the man paused in the doorway for dramatic effect. Never miss an opportunity to strike fear into your charges' hearts, that was his motto.  
  
"Good morning, class," he boomed, striding forward to stop and pose at the teacher's desk.  
  
"Good morning, sir," the class chorused after a stunned pause.  
  
"Well, it seems that your teacher, Ms. 'Racle has called in sick today. Something about a...ah..." He arched an eyebrow as he examined a note. "Ah, face change of some sort. Your teacher's assitant, Mr. Seraph, on the other hand..." Here, he paused with a frown. "The man sent in his letter of resignation yesterday. ...I hope it has nothing to do with your class' behavior."  
  
The man gave each one of them a significant look.  
  
"In any case," he continued, "We have no one who can take over your class. Well, there's me," he added thoughtfully. "But, I'm far too busy to attend to such petty matters." The man actually preened at his own words. "So, you're just going to have to share a teacher with another class. At least for today," he finished.  
  
He then looked impatiently at the silent class.  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for then? Run along, little children. Mr. Keynes' class is just across the courtyard."  
  
The class was then herded out the door and through the yard before being unceremoniously dumped in front of a closed classroom door. After the principal had administered a sharp rap at said door, an owlish, bespectacled man peered out.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Here's the other class you'll teach."  
  
And with that, the principal was gone.  
  
For a long moment, the short man just blinked at them from behind his glasses.  
  
"Oh...oh...oh! I see. Come in, come in."  
  
The man stepped back into the room and motioned for them to follow. The small group did so awkwardly, all too aware of the curious eyes that watched them. Their substitute teacher scurried - no other word could describe it - to his desk and shuffled through his papers. It was some time before he found what he was looking for.  
  
"Ah...yes. Here is is. Let me check if you're all here and we'll find you seats, hn?"  
  
The man peered kindly at them.  
  
"So...in alphabetical order now. Ghost?"  
  
The Chinese boy raised his hand at which the teacher pointed up front to an empty seat.  
  
"You can sit there, next to Hamann and West, son."  
  
The two boys in question nodded sharply at Ghost, who just smiled nervously as he sat.  
  
"Poor guy gets to sit next to the nerds," someone in the back snickered to his friend.  
  
"That's enough, Link," Teacher Keynes said mildly.   
  
"Can I sit with him, sir?" Morpheus asked eagerly, recognizing his new neighbor.  
  
"Your name, son?"  
  
"Morpheus."  
  
"Alright, go ahead."  
  
The man looked up from checking the class list to see Niobe waving at Link's seatmate.  
  
"Would you like to sit next to Sparks, young lady?"  
  
"Yes, sir." She smiled.  
  
She moved towards the back as Ghost looked enviously at her and their smirking friend.  
  
"Hn...Locke?" The boy raised a hand. "Hn, why don't you sit on the other side of Hamann?" The teacher asked. "And now, Mero, is it?"  
  
The French boy's smile disappeared as his purloined set of keys fell out of his pocket with a clang. At the sight of them, the placid teacher visibly brightened. He picked up the keys and tucked them into his own pocket with a reasurring pat.  
  
"Well...I'll just keep these safe for you, hn? And why don't you sit in that empty row in the middle?"  
  
"Can Perse sit with me?"  
  
"That would be me," the girl smiled sweetly.  
  
"Oh...that's fine, dear."  
  
"Now...Neo?"  
  
The boy waved his hand enthusiastically.  
  
"Sit on the other side of Perse, son. ...Would you like to sit with him, young lady?" The man smiled knowingly at a displeased Trinity.  
  
She gave him one of her subdued smiles and followed Neo, all the while watching Perse out of the corner of her eye. Not to be trusted that one.  
  
"And what of... One...Two...three?" The man squinted at the pair with their matching and seemingly angelic grins. "Ah...twins, I suppose?"  
  
The two nodded at the same time.  
  
"Well, you can sit next to Jackson and Johnson. They are almost twins themselves." The teacher smiled serenely as he gestured to the two.  
  
"And..." He continued. "Ah...Smith?"  
  
"You can sit between Brown and Bane."  
  
That handled, the man smiled absently at his class with students, old and new.  
  
"Now, why don't we talk about what we'll do today, hn?" 


	17. Attack of the Twins, Part Two

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks for all the lovely reviews and welcome-backs. It's good to be back, too. ^_^ Missed you, guys, terribly. School is a terrible thing. *shudders* And as promised, this chapter is dedicated to cronus and Sabine (thinkin' of Griffin and Sabine? ^o^), first to know the Keymaker for who he is. Based his name on Maynard Keynes (studyin' for Eco does that). ~_^ And for clarification, 1) "hn" is a non-committal response; 2) not to sure if ol' Archie even has an accent; and 3) the new kids are also kindergarteners, though I had to upgrade li'l bro Bane to fill the class (think brainchild ^_^). ...And the idea for this chapter comes from Power of Three. ^_^ [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.   
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 14 - Attack of the Twins, Part Two  
  
Sparks stifled a yawn as his teacher went on his usual tirade of opportunities and open doors. No day could start without -that- lecture. Niobe shifted slightly in her seat, arching an eyebrow at him. He smirked and looked back at his teacher. But, today couldn't be as tedious as it usually was, what with the new additions to his class. Recess, for one thing, should be great fun. You could get a good game going, which doesn't happen that often when you have a bunch of nerds and creepy weirdos in your class. Even though the two classes had the same recess, the teachers tried to keep them apart so as to avoid any mix-ups. No fun that. Nowadays, he only saw Niobe and Ghost in the afternoons once they'd had lunch. And at times, not even. The sandy-haired boy idly wondered what they could do at recess.  
  
As ideas raced through his head, he watched his classmates. Niobe, being the obedient girl she was, listened politely to the lecture. Link and Morpheus, however, had no qualms of talking in loud whispers about Link's new toy car. Their supposedly soft voices would have annoyed anyone else. But, little could cause the cousins Jones and Brown to react. Today, they were joined by their other cousin, Smith. The boy's younger brother was also with them. That one had taken a test to skip him up from pre-school. But, no matter how smart he was said to be, his baby talk threw him in sharp contrast of his companions. Now, for instance, he fidgeted in his seat, while the other three just sat in their chairs with stoic faces.   
  
The row ahead of them provided a nice interval. A timid-looking boy was struggling to keep awake, helped by the gentle prodding of his seatmate. If he remembered correctly from what Niobe had told him, that was Neo and Trin. So, that would make the other dark-haired girl, Perse. A nasty piece of goods, according to Niobe. Blunt as always, his friend. Always said exactly what she meant. And she definitely didn't like the hoity-toity members of her sex. From the polished look of this one, she definitely fell under that class. The boy next to her seemed to be just as bad. Here, he was the one who danced attention to his seatmate. He whispered in her ear, while she alternated between grooming herself and her porcelain doll.  
  
If those four were an alternate of girl and boy, the next set was split in a war of colors and attitudes. The two in front of the prissy pair were worse than Jones and Brown if such a thing was possible. Like brick walls those two. At least, Jones and Brown talked to each other at times. Jackson and Johnson were joined at the hip, but didn't seem to speak at all. In their dark blazers and pants, they were the exact opposite of their new seatmates. The white-clothed twins were noisy as hell with faces that were just as expressive. As of the moment, their faces had identical looks of mischief that did not bode well for the J-pair.  
  
And lastly, up front were the nerds as he and Link liked to call them. Front and center, West and Hamann. Poor Ghost had been placed next to West. The only consolation he could have was that West wasn't as chatty or cryptic as Hamann. The latter seemed to be getting along fine with Locke though. They actually seemed to be debating about the merits of what Mr. Keynes was talking about. Sheesh.  
  
"Alright!"   
  
Finally, was the unspoken sigh of most of the gathered students. The teacher actually rubbed his hands together as he cheerfully spoke of the day's lesson. Sparks rolled his eyes at Niobe, who tried to look reproachful. Her laughing eyes betrayed her though.   
  
"Today, we're going to play with numbers! Doesn't that sound like fun? Can I have some volunteers?" The man asked enthusiastically. "One? Two?"  
  
The twins smirked as they swaggered up front, hands shoved in pockets. They were given the numbers of their names to hold. Then, the pair leaned lazily against the teacher's desk. Trinity was called up front for the next number with a sleepy Neo in tow for the one that followed. Not wanting to be left out, Perse raised her hand, along with that of a reluctant Mero. West and Hamann soon joined them. But, before Sparks could sink low in his seat, he was called on as well. Niobe smirked at his scowl.  
  
"Okay! Call out your numbers, children," said their teacher.  
  
"A one...and a two...and a...," the twins sang out, grinning.  
  
"Three," Trinity said primly, arching an eyebrow at them.  
  
"Four," Neo yawned with a sleepy smile on his face.  
  
"Five," Perse purred.  
  
"Six," Mero enunciated in a bored-li'l-Frenchman tone.  
  
"Seven...eight," West and Hamann calmly chimed in.  
  
"Nine." Sparks rolled his eyes. Ghost actually snickered.  
  
"And when there is nothing, what do you have?" The teacher asked the entire class, holding his hands out to them for the answer.  
  
"Zero," they chorused.  
  
"Excellent!" He beamed.  
  
The man took the numbers back and placed them along the blackboard for them to see. As a guide apparently for he then started to scurry about, handing them pieces of paper.  
  
"Now, I want you to paint-in-numbers! Isn't that wonderful?"  
  
His students doubtfully studied the assorted sketches with their white spaces and neatly printed numbers. Before they could question him however, he went on with his instructions.  
  
"Push back your chairs and sit on the floor so everyone has room!" He said happily. "Put out the newspapers, don't make a mess, and most important of all..." He gave his original class a significant look.  
  
"Share what you have," they said in unison.  
  
"Good, good," he grinned widely at everyone.  
  
After they'd fixed the paints, the class sprawled on the floor and watched as their teacher wrote the name of a color next to each number. A fat zero had been tacked on in the end in colored chalk. That done, he puttered about, hovering above them and humming like a big bumblebee.  
  
Some went industriously to work, like the nerds and the creepies. Others, like the girls, proceeded with more care than the others' mindless diligence. Neo seemed to finish his in a flash and had fallen fast asleep on the floor with a patch of blue over one eye. Sparks himself carelessly painted with his usual flair. Not far from him, Mero looked just as bored with the whole endeavor. But, it was the twins that were an interesting sight to watch.   
  
The two had thrown their paint slap-dash into the sheets of paper, yet somehow kept their clothes an immaculate white. Now, they showed more dedication in quietly painting pictures on their seatmates' backs. Their wide grins didn't go unnoticed by the majority of their classmates. The nerds were too involved in their work and Mr. Keynes himself seemed oblivious. But, the other creepies were quite aware, and they actually smirked in approval. It seemed like no love was lost between them and their J-counterparts.   
  
"Well, are we all done, class?" Asked their teacher. "Neo, would you like to show yours?"  
  
The boy jerked up and blinked in surprise. Only after Trinity whispered an explanation to him did he scramble to his feet with his face red in embarrassment. But, the giggles of his classmates were soon replaced by a dropping of mouths at the sight of the intricate shading and mixing of colors in his work.  
  
"That's a very nice picture, Neo. Let's post it at the center of the bulletin board."  
  
Neo blushed at the praise and shuffled back to his seat next to Trinity, whose proud smile turned him a deeper shade of red. Perse could only pout at the cooler reception of Mero's picture. A "Renaissance replica" was their teacher's only comment. But, the next piece sent her and half of the class in confusion. With the exception of the creepies, Sparks and the others leaned forward to peer at it.  
  
"Ah...Smith, didn't you understand my instructions?" Mr. Keynes asked, bewildered.  
  
"Yes, but you should know that the only numbers that truly matter are one and zero."  
  
Sparks and Link exchanged grins and snickered loudly, whereas the rest of the creepies just nodded simultaneously in agreement of Smith's statement.   
  
"Well, to each his own, I suppose," said their teacher, shrugging after another look at the black and white picture. "Now, why don't we post the other pictures on the board - "  
  
But, before he could continue, the suddenly aware Jackson and Johnson leapt for the twins. The class crowded around them as a free-for-all broke out between the four. Outside, a clap of thunder was heard. Then, the lights went out. That was when the shrieking and shouting started. 


	18. All Wet

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks for the lovely reviews, mates. ~_^ The idea credits for this chapter go to Kitsune-chan (can I beg off some fanart, dear? ~_~) and Jennifer Jolie. Sorry for the "slight" delay. Was waylaid by Law finals. ~_^ ...And just a note to someone's comment, Principal Archie IS the Architect. It's my shortcut for him, like 'Racle for Oracle. ^_^ [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it. Nor can I claim Gucci.  
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 15 - All Wet  
  
It took some time to get everyone settled down again. By then, the generator had kicked in and the lights were back on. However, rain was now coming down like -  
  
"Cats and cars!" Link said excitedly.  
  
"It's cats and dogs, you idiot."  
  
Sparks rolled his eyes at his friend.  
  
"No name-calling, children."   
  
Their teacher tried to raise his teeny voice to be heard from across the room and over the collective noise. The two friends looked at each other from their place by the windows. They rolled their eyes and sighed. Resting their faces on their hands, they leaned on the cubbies with their elbows. They'd dragged their chairs there, along with Morpheus, Niobe, and Ghost.  
  
"Well, I still like cars better," Link insisted stubbornly.  
  
Morpheus fiercely nodded his head in agreement. His chair wobbled at the action.  
  
"Whatever rows your boat," Sparks said, already bored with their conversation.  
  
"Why don't we make paper boats and throw them into the puddles!" Morpheus suggested, smiling widely.   
  
The chair shook harder as he jumped at the idea. Unable to take it any longer, it slipped and threw him onto the carpet of the reading area. He pushed away a pillow that had flipped over and fallen onto his face. Niobe laughed at his disgruntled look. Gathering the remnants of his dignity, Morpheus set his chair upright and clambered back on it. But, only after he'd snatched a pile of papers and crayons from the supply cabinet. He handed them out and soon, they were all busy at work.  
  
Undisturbed by someone literally falling into their discussion, Locke continued talking to West and Hamann. The two had brilliant ideas about such issues as conveying cryptic messages and giving rousing speeches so as to win the girl and soundly defeat your rival. ...Of course, he hadn't considered the fact that the other two boys were single and probably wouldn't really know any better.  
  
So involved were they that it wasn't hard to ignore the scuffle that still continued at the center of the room. The four had now split up into pairs of punching, grunting black and white. A development that made it even harder for the distressed Mr. Keynes to break them up. It didn't help that some students were just casually watching. The four cousins had settled comfortably in their chairs to observe and take down the strengths and weaknesses of their J-rivals. On occassion, they would compare notes.   
  
On the other side of the fight, Mero set up his recess, the only one to think to eat. He carefully set down his carton of grape juice, moving it closer to himself when it danced dangerously at the edge. The pummeling nearby wasn't helping the stability of his chair. He found the fight uncouth and disgraceful. His lovely lady, however, seemed to take interest in it. Something about blood sports and gambling being a gentleman's game, so of course, he had to play along. The lady in question idly took the piece of cheese on crackers that he handed as she watched the ensuing fight with wide eyes.  
  
So, it was with quiet contentment that Neo and Trin enjoyed a corner of the classroom. The sleeping mats for naptime were clumsily piled up there. The boy had curled up in a tight ball on top of one, while his head rested on another. Trin, on the other hand, had settled down next to him with a book of "Kung Fu for Kids". She was enjoying the peaceful moment when it happened - for we all know that such moments can never last. It would have come to nothing at any place, but this was kindergarten. Something always has to happen...or go horrifically wrong.  
  
A twin - it was hard to tell which in the blur - had successfully tugged of his J's shoe, sending it flying.  
  
"Merde!" Mero cursed. "Watch it, you idiot!"  
  
Too late. It had knocked over the precariously-placed carton, sending a spray of grape juice on him and Perse.   
  
"This is Gucci!" The girl shrieked in outrage.  
  
Perse threw the cracker in hand at the twin to blame. With an unpleasant smile, she waited in anticipation of yellow cheese smeared down his immaculate white shirt. But, before she could get that satisfaction, the twin seemed to disappear out of sight, popping back in after it had passed him. His partner in crime similarly dodged the tasty projectile. But, Bane was not so lucky.   
  
"Wha - Halp!" He garbled as it entered his mouth.  
  
With that loud yelp, he tumbled back in his seat. Before his brother or cousins could come to his assistance, the chair fell to the floor with a crash.  
  
"Ouch," the boy whimpered.  
  
"Man down!" Smith shouted.  
  
As the trio hurriedly rushed to Bane's side, they only caused the nearby cabinet to shake even more. The rubber balls that sat on top of it shook omniously.  
  
"Smith..." Brown started.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Incoming!" Boomed Jones.  
  
They huddled over their fallen comrade as the avalanche hit the room. Those by the cubbies watched with morbid interest as chaos erupted. Perse was shrieking again as if attempting to beat the rumbling thunder at its own game. A frustrated Mero was trying to tug her down under a table, but to no avail. The fight raged on amidst the barrage, while their teacher stood helplessly at the eye of the storm.  
  
Trin watched with a wary eye as the salvo steadily made its way towards them. As the balls bounced from table to table, they started to slow down, but one mercilessly continued on its path. With a last leap, it flew into the air...splashed into the class aquarium...drenched Neo and Trin...and came at them like a kamikaze.  
  
The girl instinctively covered Neo with her body just as the ball lightly touched her back and then harmlessly rolled away on the floor.  
  
Neo yawned and blinked at Trin in sleepy confusion.  
  
"Trin...why am I wet?" 


	19. A New Teacher & Then Some

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of the Matrix went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: This is a brief prelude for those who wanted to see rebel-Neo in action. ~_^ Sorry, if I went for another lengthy sybbatical. The muses have not been kind as of late. My apologies. ~_~ Credit for this chapter goes to Dionysus with the introduction of a few new characters. ...And is there anyone who could post the Christmas fanart for me? ~_^ Just mail me please. [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.   
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 16 - A New Teacher & Then Some  
  
It had been a week since the attack of the sentient rubber balls.  
  
Line formation had become a quiet affair. After the destruction of the classroom, both classes had been relocated. They now formed two straight lines near the gym every weekday morning. No teacher stood with them. Instead, an omnious-looking principal watched from his office. Hawk-like eyes glared at them from between the blinds. They'd gained a reputation for scaring off teachers. Now, none of the regulars wanted to handle them, and there weren't any substitutes as of the moment. The past few days had Principal Archie managing them. They hadn't been good days, more like kindergarten boot camp sans the push-ups - and only because school rules forbade such punishment.  
  
After the last bell had rung, the man himself walked out of his office to look down at them in disapproval. He sniffed and checked his watch before turning to the gates with narrowed eyes. Just as the bell rang again to signal the first class, a couple came in through the iron grilles of the entrance.   
  
An Indian man led them, coming to a stop before the principal with an apologetic smile. While he caught his breath, the woman with him - presumedly his wife - stood at his side with stoic face and rounded belly. She had followed the man at a slower, but no less brisk, pace and seemed to wait for him to speak on their part. Principal Archie wasn't as tolerant and coughed loudly.  
  
"Ah, my apologies for our tardiness. You see, the train was - "  
  
"You are Rama-Kandra, correct? The new teacher?"  
  
"That is right." The man smiled, unpeturbed at the interruption.  
  
"And this is your wife, who applied for a secretarial position?"  
  
The principal glanced at the dark-skinned woman who just nodded in response.  
  
"Well, here's your class list. I believe we've already discussed all pertinent details over the phone, including the small matter of today's guest?" The bearded man arched his eyebrow at the other.  
  
"Yes, you have," the man agreed, taking the sheet of paper.  
  
"Then, that'll be all. ...If I believed in such a concept as luck, I'd wish you had some in excess," the other noted dryly. Turning back to the woman, he gave her a curt nod. "If you'll follow me."  
  
He left without another word, the woman just a step behind. She'd given her husband a dubious look before leaving, but he'd just shrugged his shoulders, still smiling as he turned to face his students.  
  
"Good morning, class."  
  
"Good morning, teacher," they chorused dutifully.  
  
"As you know, I am your teacher. You may call me Teacher Rama. ...Now, if we'll all just go inside, we can get acquainted."  
  
After which, the man herded the children into the concrete structure next to them. Moving past the gymnastic mats and basketball court, he opened the door to an extra storeroom. Instead of desks and chairs, they had benches and long tables. There was also an old blackboard leaning against the paint-peeled wall, placed precariously atop a lopsided desk.   
  
As the class shuffled into their seats, their teacher called the roll. When that was done, he smiled at them, not saying a word for a long time. Uncertain of how to respond to such exuberance, his students shifted uneasily in their seats. Then, there was a knock on the door and the man clapped his hands excitedly.  
  
"Ah! Our guest has arrived!" He moved to get the door. "For today, you see, is no ordinary day. It is a great honor for my first day as your teacher to coincide with - "  
  
He paused as he threw the door open with great flair and a bright smile.  
  
"Mr. Neo's birthday! Happy Birthday to you," the man started to sing.  
  
The mother of the boy in question entered the room with a bemused expression. This certainly hadn't been the sort of classroom she'd expected when the school principal had directed her there. She set two bakery boxes on the table with a wary eye at its blackboard companion, then turned to the class. Beckoning her blushing son over, she positioned him in front of her and joined the teacher in his rather enthusiastic rendition of the birthday song.  
  
When that was done, the class excitedly went to the table to see what sweets had been brought. Neo's friends, of course, were polite enough to greet him before doing so. But, the others had no shame in ignoring the celebrant and jockeying for a spot near the teacher's table. Even Smith had a sweet tooth. But, Neo was too flustered by Trin's quick peck on the cheek to notice that the majority of his classmates were more interested in the treats to come than in him.  
  
His mother had just opened the first box and taken out a cake. After lighting the candles, she set it on one of the long tables so that the children could gather around to oh-and-ah over the colored sprinkles and sparkler candles.   
  
"Come here, son," Neo's mother said. "Make a wish."  
  
As Neo came close to do so, one of the twins suddenly shouted.  
  
"Hey! That's my name! I'm One! You're not! You...you...you name-stoler!"  
  
And sure enough, there in neat blue icing was the greeting:  
  
Happy Birthday, One! 


	20. There Can Only Be One One

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trin_chardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of the Matrix went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: Here's some rebel-Neo as a belated Christmas present. Sorry, I can't deliver with the fanart 'cause I haven't been able to find anyone to post it for me. All the same, happy holidays to everyone! Enjoy the new year. ~.~ [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it. I also have no claim on Highlander, Jack and the Beanstalk, or Princess Bride.  
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 17 - There Can Only Be One...One  
  
"Oh dear..."   
  
Neo's mother sighed and left the room to the click-clack of her high heels. Taking out her cellphone as she did so, she muttered something about suing a certain bakeshop. A tad deflated, Neo just stared glumly at his cake, while One continue to glare at him from across said pastry. Trinity patted the dark-haired boy's arm comfortingly, but the others moved on from the cake to look at the other box with hungry eyes.  
  
With an apparent sixth sense for disaster, their teacher clapped their hands to distract their attention. He then picked up a packet of sweets from beside the unopened bakery box.  
  
"Look what we have here! Why don't we each have one for a good sugar rush," he winked and went on. "Then, we can have games with the rest of the sweets as prizes. What do you think?"  
  
At the loud cheer, the teacher smiled and started to hand out candies. Morpheus took two to hand one to his downcast friend.  
  
"Which do you want, Neo?" He asked kindly. "The blue jelly bean or the red jelly bean?"  
  
Neo picked up the red one with a soft sniff and popped it into his mouth.   
  
"You know," Morpheus continued in a low whisper, "I think they might be magic beans. Like the one in Jack and the Beanstalk."  
  
"Magic jelly beans?" Neo looked at his friend doubtfully, face scrunched up.   
  
"It could happen," the other said eagerly. "Maybe we could get powers!"  
  
"What kind of powers?" The smaller boy asked, drawn into it by the other's conviction.  
  
"Super powers," the dark-skinned boy said softly, eyes alit with excitement.  
  
By that time, the two had joined their classmates in the gym proper. Neo's mother was nowhere in sight, though her shrill voice was heard at intervals from outside the double doors. The boy himself sighed as he heard parts of the conversation. Clearly, his mother wasn't pleased at having the birthday party spoilt. Neo shuffled in place, eyes on the floor and face flushed in embarrassment at his mother's loud voice. Teacher Rama had started to facilitate a game at one end of the gym, but the boy could still feel the pitying eyes of some classmates focused on him.  
  
Morpheus had drifted off to fight Locke over who got to be Niobe's partner. But, the girl in question saw Trinity standing by herself and looking worriedly at Neo. When the dark-haired boy made no move to join in the game, the girls became partners instead. Left alone, Neo continued to stare at his feet. Then, a not-too-gentle shove moved him from his spot. He looked up to meet hostile light-colored eyes. Surprisingly, the twin was on his own. Neo squinted at the name embroidered on the other boy's pocket in small neat letters. It was obscured by the arms tightly crossed at the chest. In any case, the albino's words clarified matters as to identity soon enough.   
  
"I am One. You stole my name. Prepare to die."  
  
"I didn't steal your name," Neo said flatly.  
  
For those who knew him well, the dark-haired boy's expressionless tone was a sign that he wasn't in a good mood. Thus, was better left alone. Unfortunately, One was not one of the select few privy to that information.  
  
"Yes, you did," the other insisted. "Now, you must pay. I challenge you to a duel."  
  
Neo coolly arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms to mirror his adversary.  
  
"Is that so?" He drawled in his usual soft-spoken voice. "What sort of duel?"  
  
"More of a contest actually. Up the bleachers..." One's eyes narrowed in challenge. "To the -very top-. First one there can claim the name of One."  
  
Neo rolled his eyes.  
  
"You know what I never even said my name was One - "  
  
"Blasphemy! Blasphemy!" The twin shouted, covering his ears and chanting, "I'm not listening! I'm not listening!"  
  
The other boy looked to the heavens in exasperation.  
  
"Alright then."   
  
One squinted in suspicion, then slowly removed his hands from his ears.  
  
"You're on." Neo shrugged.  
  
"One... Two... Three... Go!"  
  
As soon as he'd finished the countdown, the twin was off like a shot. But, it soon showed that he was no match for a Neo with a mission. When the dark-haired boy reached the top ahead of him, he could only sputter in shock.  
  
"No...no... This isn't possible...can't be..."  
  
Neo actually smirked, clearly satisfied at his triumph. He had to talk to Morpheus later on. Maybe the jelly beans -were- magical after all. Such was running through his mind when One leaped up from the bleacher step below and tackled him down with a shout of outrage.  
  
"Hey! That's not - "  
  
Before he could finish and shout 'fair', Neo got a mouthful of One's arm. But, like the previous race, he soon got the upper hand in the scuffle. Leaving the twin lying on his stomach and throwing a general tantrum, Neo calmly took a seat on the other's back and watched as Teacher Rama and the class came toward them from below.  
  
"You know what?" He looked at the kicking and screaming albino underneath him. "Like I said, I never said my name was One. ...But, I am -the- One."   
  
He turned back to smile happily at his awed friends. This birthday wasn't so bad after all. 


	21. FANART: Holiday Season

First of all, my apologies to someone who gave me feedback about the rating of this fic. I rated it G ages ago, putting in consideration the basic plot content. However, it seems I've unconsciously put in a few curse words. So as to avoid any further debate on the matter, the rating has gone up to PG. ~.~  
  
Secondly, here's some belated holiday fanart from the talented Kitsune-chan. These are brought to you by RQ, who was nice enough to post them for me. Thanks to you both. ~.^  
  
All of the Boys tremble before the awesome power of...  
  
(http://www.worldisround.com/photos/1/367/540.jpg)  
  
Girls armed with Mistletoe!  
  
(http://www.worldisround.com/photos/1/367/541.jpg)  
  
Xmas pagent. Neo & Trin as Mr. & Mrs. Santa Clause, The Twins as Rudolf and Blitzen, and Smith as one of Santa's lil' helpers(!)  
  
(http://www.worldisround.com/photos/1/367/542.jpg) 


	22. End of the Line

Title: Kindergarten  
  
Author: trinchardin  
  
Summary: What if the characters of the Matrix went to kindergarten together?  
  
Categories: AU/Humor  
  
Author's Notes: This is -seriously- overdue and for that, I offer my humble apologies. Thank you to those who've e-mailed me to offer ideas, reviews, and encouragement. I couldn't have posted this final chapter without you. The main reason for drawing things to a close sooner than originally planned is that I've lost interest in this series, and I think it's unfair to you readers to drag things any longer with substandard work and erratic updates. This ending been on my mind for some time, and it gets heavier towards the last part. Hope you like it all the same. Everything that has a beginning has an end. [Check out the Construct! ]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.  
  
-----  
  
Kindergarten  
  
Chapter 18 - End of the Line  
  
The rest of the week plodded placidly along with little incident. Having renovated the old classroom, the joint sections moved back in though they had to sit on the floor until new chairs came. Line formation was done, but Teacher Rama had been called to the principal's office, leaving his young charges alone.  
  
Neo played idly with the new carpet of the naptime corner, face pressed against the soft green plush as he lay sprawled. Not far from him, Trinity and Niobe played with some puzzles. In stark contrast to their quiet, the other boys waged a mock battle of paper airplanes from behind opposing fortresses of wooden building blocks and sleeping bag barracks.   
  
On one side, West, Hamann, and Locke argued battle strategy, while Morpheus ignored them and led his troops of Ghost, Link, and Sparks. At the other, Mero sat on his toybox throne with a bored Perse at his side. They were flanked by One and Two who were enthusiastically putting their air kungfu moves to use on an enemy several feet away. Their "army" was just as divided with warlord Smith snapping out orders that Jones, Brown, and Bane made haste to follow, and J&J were just as quick to countermand.   
  
Just when it seemed like doomsday had come early, Teacher Rama walked in with a smile and an announcement.  
  
"I am very happy to say that our field trip can continue as planned, since you've all submitted your permission slips." Rama waved the pieces of paper in his hand. "So, come on, class. Get you bags and let's go."  
  
The man herded them out of the classroom and into the school courtyard. At the gate was an idling yellow school bus. They'd barely settled into their seats when the vehicle lurched forward and sped at a break-neck pace, only to screech to a stop in front of a train station. They went down a set of steps and past the turnstiles to step onto cool cream tiles. Advertisements were the only adornments in the bland pristine space. Fluroscent lights gave a harsh glow to the place, a sharp contrast to the darkness beyond the sudden drop of the platform. One had to squint to see the train tracks. The tunnel that stretched across was empty and silent, not even the whistle of the train they'd come to ride. The teacher himself seemed slightly on edge.  
  
Then, without warning, the silver bullet zoomed out from one end as large as life. It hissed to a stop in front of them and metal doors parted to reveal a grinning man in serious need of a dentist. His clothes were thread-bare and reeking of old moldy cheese, but a dark blue cap was set on his head at a jaunty angle with a shining brass sign that read...  
  
"Are you our conductor?" Mero asked dubiously.  
  
"Can't you read, young sir?" The man said, leaning down to face him with a leer. Gnarled fingers tapped at the brass plate.  
  
"It says 'trainman'," the boy haughtily retorted.  
  
"Trainman, rainman," was the snorted reply. "Same thing. Prissy as ever." The last was muttered under his breath in disgust.  
  
Then, the tall, lanky figure eyed the other children sharply.  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for, li'l tykes? I don't have all day! All aboard!" He shouted raspily, spitting out a glob of phlegm before turning on his heel and back onto the train.   
  
Perse wrinkled her nose. But, nonetheless, she let Mero help her over the gap. The other children followed suit, their teacher behind them. The doors snapped shut immediately after, making Rama jump and the Trainman chortle.  
  
"Sit tight, kiddies." He smiled unpleasantly. "You're in for one hell of a ride."  
  
With that last, he disappeared into the front part of the train. The children didn't even have time to sit this time. The steel snake rattled forward into the darkness. The lights on the ceiling were the same stark white of the station, but it seemed like a dim flame in comparison to their surroundings.  
  
After what seemed like hours, the train started to slow and their conductor returned with a smirk at their green faces.  
  
"We should be nearing our destination in a few minutes. ...Ah, see. Almost there," he said as a flash of light lit the darkness.   
  
Another forked its way, higher and farther away this time. Gathering near the windows, the children realized they were in an open-air place. But, what surrounded them was a great expanse of scorched earth. It was lightning that lit up the sky at sporadic intervals. At some distance from them, they could see pillars that disappeared into the omnious clouds. Orange spheres lit them up in grotesque parody of Christmas lights.  
  
The temperature in the train seemed to drop. Shivering, Smith pulled his dark blazer tighter around himself. As he did, he caught sight of his hand and for a moment, he thought green digits danced along his fingers. But, the Trainman was talking again.  
  
"That's the Plant," he was saying. "Powers up the entire system."  
  
A flash of lightning made his eyes gleam as he turned to look down on them with an unsettling grin.  
  
"But, where are we going?" Morpheus asked softly.  
  
"To where little boys and girls are made, of course." The man's smile widened, just as the train came to a stop.   
  
"Let's see what choice you'll make this time around, Neo," he said to himself as the children shuffled out.  
  
But, before the doors closed, Rama-Kandra looked back.  
  
"You will remind your master of my proposal?"  
  
At his careless nod, the other smiled tensely and left.  
  
When the doors finally slid shut, the Trainman could sense the separation of the systems manager program from its charges. Then, the screened data was compressed and zipped through the proper channels, all in anticipation of another system re-boot. The train hurtled forward underneath his feet, headed farther ahead than his previous pick-up - into the Matrix itself.   
  
The Merovingian was waiting.  
  
The Architect took a key and opened the second door in Principal Archie's office. He shut it behind himself and smiled as he entered the center of his domain. TV screens lined the walls and there was his desk. He took a seat, leaned back, checked his watch. In just a few seconds, the 5th version would walk in.  
  
5...4...3...2...  
  
1.  
  
"Hello, Neo." 


End file.
